Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?
You remember the a pollo missions.
He goes undercover
Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora."
The widow replies: “Thanks that means a lot.”
And another:
Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Bargain."
The widow replies: “Thanks that means a great deal.”
A night
You know... at the hippocampus.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Its butt!
"Do you sell flop flops?"
The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?" The guy tells him, "Since next Monday."
"People like you make me sick!".
Con-descending
Baroque
And then it dawned on me
Because Lisa Kudrow (could row).
I just made that up yesterday at work after greeting a colleague with the same first name. Its original to me but feels obvious enough that I'm sure I'm not the first to think of it, especially after 20 years.
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
A nightmare.
-courtesy of my kindergartner
Mozzarella.
A cow walking backwards
An Amish drive by
Lyme disease!!
I'll see myself out.
Picket.
Man: Are you a fan of music
Turbine: Yeah I’m a big metal fan
there’s plenty more Phish in the (C:)
You, putting on a t-shirt.
She puts her pajamazon
He's a roamin' Cat'lic.
Psychiatrist says, "What makes you chasseur?"
Is that a Murphyn?
And is disappointed to only see large piles of sand.
Tricera-stops
Nish Inquisition.
"Can I join you?"?
A sheep with no lips.
For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???
Doggers
Viagra Falls.
Receptionist: Hello and welcome to the NDA, or New Dad Association, how may I help you today?
Dad: Can I tell other people about this?
Certainly Sir, said the receptionist...this is the Lobby.
It gets Dhaka
Ratashootie
(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."
