Every time I ask, she tells me to march first.
They made me an offer I can refuse
I won't let him controller.
victims say it was a shocking, hair-raising experience
I told her I was bisacksual.
but if you remove it, you get gravy.
But I failed the vision test
I am especially attracted by gravity, it keeps me grounded.
Yeah, it’s called a Sin-tax.
It was a clean kill
They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.
Q: Why doesn’t Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?
A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!
It was unpresidented.
It damn nearly kilt him...
Bro-coli
He gave me knightmares.
Reese’s Pieces
I said... you’ll be mist...
If so, you may be entitled to condensation.
Darth Ritis.
Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.
Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.
Gotta be Low key
The steaks were high.
It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.
It really sucks
Because they’re above us.
So, Qui-Gonn had to force him...
Obi wan: Okay Anakin, answer this. Imagine, I am on a planet, very far away from yours. And I was out of range of all forms of communication.
Anakin: Okay...and?
Obi wan: And there was an urgent message, that you had to send me. How would you send it, when no messaging service would get to me?
Anakin: Simple. I would send it with sand. It gets everywhere.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
I guess that makes him a ForceKin
The British were simply out-plaid
You could be due compensation. Contact the Pro-Claimers now!
It was a force of hobbit.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡You Pokémon
Because they cantaloupe.
Courtesy of me sick and loopy at the grocery store.
It’s textbook Economics.
iMoral
It's being called the great Merlot furlough.
Would it be called the Apple Corps?
It's rough, tough, and don't take shit off anyone
You still have Gravy
If so, you may be entitled to condensation.
Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.
Gravy.
