The aliens returned with a butter force.
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What's it called when a woman sets up and forces her husband to go out with her friend's husband?

Man-dating it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?

Copies.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlafThePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I failed a recent test on the forces of the earth.

Apparently I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation I was in

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CH4RL130H
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe

but if you remove it, you get gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutalproduct
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to join the psychic police force

But I failed the vision test

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I believe in a cosmic force...

I am especially attracted by gravity, it keeps me grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/staalmannen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?

They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenRedittor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
May the sales force be with you.

Q: Why doesn’t Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?

A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend joined a cult who believe that we’ll all turn to water and be evaporated into a bigger life force...

I said... you’ll be mist...

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Londoner1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?

Reese’s Pieces

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/firepower98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Duct tape is like the Force.

It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BethJ2018
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
58 years ago today, Ringo joined forces with John, Paul, and George.

Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejeanspiano
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the most important thing to be when living in Asgard with a corrupt police force?

Gotta be Low key

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/llMezzll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Air Force pilots salute differently?

Because they’re above us.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyMo1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Obi wan and Anakin meet at a force ghost party.

Obi wan: Okay Anakin, answer this. Imagine, I am on a planet, very far away from yours. And I was out of range of all forms of communication.

Anakin: Okay...and?

Obi wan: And there was an urgent message, that you had to send me. How would you send it, when no messaging service would get to me?

Anakin: Simple. I would send it with sand. It gets everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clone_Writer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Historically, the Scottish fought off a British Invasion force 20x as big as their own

The British were simply out-plaid

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force

I guess that makes him a ForceKin

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you force Nintendo fans into a bus?

You PokΓ©mon

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
An angry Air Force Registered Nurse is mad AF RN.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t cows be affected by any strong force?

They’re immoovabull.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingAzathoth
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Apple forces children in China to work for minimum wage?

iMoral

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zak-Ive-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If Apple ever created a police force....

Would it be called the Apple Corps?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeeGhastly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Millennium Falcon easier to fly after the Force Awakens?

It was now Hans free.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mojogoing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
"Help! There's a mysterous force pulling me into the floor!"

Wife: "Please get up off the floor and stop embarrassing yourself."

Dad: "Honey, do you not understand the gravity of this situation?!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LiamsNiecesSon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend once told me centrifugal force doesn't exist.

He was clearly out of the loop.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OGgoob666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not that hard to get into the Naval Forces.

I mean, we were all semen at one point.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iforgotmylogins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the elite division of space force called?

Spatial ops

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colonel_Soldier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dark side Force user who can't fight?

A Sithy

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife got really mad at me earlier when I tried to force feed our young son...

"Just use a spoon!" she said. "You're not a Jedi!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of currency does the Space Force use?
πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrs_Shroom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A Force Field
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smartt88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Everytime I do something I shouldn't do my dad force me to scroll through this subreddit

He calls it: "The Punishment"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suprxboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided that when I become a dad, I'm not going to be the type who forces my kids to make their beds

I'll probably just buy them one from the store

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jdabby32
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The greatest air force to ever exist
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Police forces are deflating the stats of seized drugs during the drug war campaign.

Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldomccoy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...

You still have Gravy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
58 years ago today, Ringo joined forces with John, Paul, and George.

Pete got sacked, but it was for the Best.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejeanspiano
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most essential forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 316
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?

Gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was refusing to eat dinner, so I tried to force feed him.

My wife said, β€œUse the fricking spoon. You are not a Jedi.”

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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