My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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"The Road you've taken has been paved by your own decisions"

It's your own asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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What do you call a reptile who makes financially wise decisions?

An INVESTigator!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.

Now they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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My kids are asking for a ping pong table for Christmas this year, but I told them that isn’t an easy decision.

A lot of bouncing back and forth.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schwano
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...

They will be ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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While you're making your decision, here are some pros and cons:

Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady

Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I’m having trouble making decisions today...

I’m not really sure how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arizhalfandhalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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My dad didn't like the decision in Roe vs Wade

He said you had to see what type of river it was before you decide how to cross it.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Buying a mattress is a big decision.

Be sure to sleep on it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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When a girl makes stupid decisions when she's turned on, can it be called clitical thinking?πŸ€”
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nexushead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Bob:.. I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy Jack:.. " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"

Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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A critical decision.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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My decision
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildNazis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What do you call a group of drunk state officials who make decisions?

A beeraucracy.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icantgivetitwanks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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I invested all of my money in cannabis infused beef. I know . . it’s a risky decision.

The steaks are high

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My son keeps making rash decisions.

As a dermatologist, it's all in a day's work.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The decision for a liquid to fill the shape of whatever container they are in is...

InVOLUMEtary

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minzato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...

The decision was rash.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Never criticize your wife’s decisions...

Because you were one of them!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bones82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7-year old niece made this up: What does Santa say when someone makes a bad decision?

That's a ho-ho-horrible idea!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcrabb23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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Scotland has made the decision to provide free sanitary products.

I would have predicted a trial period.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I might have made some bad decisions yesterday

But hindsight is 1/20/20

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooMuchMunchies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate last minute decisions about which frozen food should be for dinner.

They're never well thawed out.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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I regret every decision I’ve made that’s led to this moment.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicken_mcjesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Interesting decision

Can’t decide whether I want to try enemas.

Like to call this feeling a dilenema.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMenace15287
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Will feels trapped inside his operating system, unable to make non-deterministic decisions.

Will free will free Will?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpongolian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Ending segregation was a split decision.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife says I don’t know how to stick to my decisions.

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The only decisions bar tenders make...

are pour decisions

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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Rash decisions
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ollismith
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
🚨︎ report
As I sat at the bar, unsure of what to order, I realized I was in for a long night of pour decisions.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupernumeraryGuy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Vampires continuously make bad decisions...

...because vampires don’t reflect.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
The staff at my local strip club figured out a great way to make decisions.

They take a poll.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dets
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Thanos decision-making

How did Thanos decide to bring balance to the Universe?

He made a snap decision.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daTMariano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they call the town leader who can't make a decision?

Mayor Maynot

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soxman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Dermatologists made pore decisions in life.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/euratowel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when an indecisive person meet and unavoidable decision?

I'm not sure yet but I can't seem to get around it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesusloveskfc
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Naming your son Miles is a stupid decision

You have to go through all the hassle of changing it to Kilometers if you leave the US.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KNTL94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a bad experience at the new Mediterranean food place. Needless to say, I falafel about my decision.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Rash Decisions
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2013
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"Think before you jump," I said, my palms sweating. "It might not be the right decision..."

"You take bouncy castles far too seriously," my son replied.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Son: dad, what does it mean to be a man? Dad: It means to be the one that command! To be the one that take all the decisions at home.

One day I want to be a man like mom :)

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yubimarcano
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I was chosen to be the judge for our office's necktie competition, but it was a really hard decision.

It ended up a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yerboiboba
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife says I second guess all of my decisions

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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