A farmer takes a rest on a bale of hay. β€œI love my job” he says aloud. A sheep replies β€œAll you do is boss me around all day!” The farmer, clearly upset by this statement, responds β€œWhat did you just say??” The sheep replies:

β€œYou herd me.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shawmpton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....

They're my quilty pleasure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lokimonoxide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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Hospital statement ends up being too literal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vt8919
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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What do you call a statement about smell?

Deodorant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alzandre
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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"I'm going undercover" is such a blanket statement.

Besides, you should be keeping that under wraps...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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This statement at the bottom of your Just-Eat receipt.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CBSpyDoge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I saw a woman who said to check her balance, I paused and wondered why she asked that but I checked her balance with a push and she tumbled to the ground. I shruged, got my bank statement and left the bank.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datboiJR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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If you say something in bed, is it a blanket statement
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Now that’s a bold statement
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark-silver
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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To make a blanket statement about pop music...

Covers are good sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I’m about to make a bold statement

statement

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spudzzy03
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Julie Andrews will not endorse that popular vibrant shade of lipstick. She says it breaks too easily and gives her bad breath. Her official statement on this........

The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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My girlfriend asked me for a bank statement.

I said, "It's a financial institution licensed to receive deposits and make loans."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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6 hours after a major bank robbery took place, the bank have finally released their statement.

Withdrawn: Β£9,000,000

Balance:Β£0.00

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adc2502
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Statement Types imgur.com/4r1NHsP
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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To refer to all women as bitches isn't just a blanket statement, it's a broad generalization
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddydomino
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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What do you call someone who mails mortgage statements?

Post Malone

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andyh10s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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A false statement.

Sleep is for the week.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qoutes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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I hate all blanket statements.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griznuq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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A statement without punctuation

is missing the point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itim__office
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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I'd like to start with a blanket statement.

I love quilts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mesum
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
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Started as in Innocent statement about a game I played
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Areyoucrazee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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So, an SQL statement walks into a furniture store...

The owner yells at him; "You stay away from my tables! You dropped one the last time you were here!"

Sql statement leaves and wanders into a nearby restaurant. He approaches two tables; "I was just chased out of the furniture store, may I join you?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quintinza
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2014
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Canadian Prime Minister dad jokes in an official statement about finding ship that disappeared 160 years ago

"Finding the first vessel will no doubt provide the momentum - or wind in our sails - necessary to locate its sister ship and find out even more about what happened to the Franklin Expedition's crew."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-29131757

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmNotScottBakula
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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