I didn't think my friend's MacGyver-ed flashlight contraption would work until he provided a detailed description.

It was very illuminating.

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📅︎ Mar 05
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A new psychology pun in description

Just like others, Psychology puns are usually a Freud! HUH

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👤︎ u/anoshasays
📅︎ Nov 06 2019
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The punchline is in the description.

In the description.

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👤︎ u/hssndyssup
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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What's the legal description when a midget is killed?

A gnomicide.

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👤︎ u/drk311
📅︎ Aug 26 2019
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My cat, "description", lost her tail recently. I had to give the vet a detailed description.
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👤︎ u/Lucavon
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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Somebody give a promotion to the person writing these descriptions.
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📅︎ Mar 28 2019
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A Smash bros trophy description imgur.com/a/YzOR3
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📅︎ Sep 07 2017
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[REQUEST] Can Anyone help me come up with a punny spartan helmet name/description?

I want to rename an item I use in a video game to something clever. The helmet is a spartan helmet painted gold so anything witty would be nice! Thanks in advance!

I should probably add the item is a helmet and is cosmetic. The character weilds a rocket launcher and is from teamfortress to anyone familiar.

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👤︎ u/Ifailftw
📅︎ Apr 18 2013
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Description of a healthy straight male

Plays well with udders.

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👤︎ u/devonmcb
📅︎ Sep 08 2015
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Descriptive
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👤︎ u/svetlana45
📅︎ Mar 23
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"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Radish00
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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Do you know Jesus? Long hair, crown of thorns, died for our sins?

That description nails him to a t

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📅︎ Dec 24 2019
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9 yo daughter: "You know, dad; I think I have your sense of humour."

Me (rather pleased): "Really?" Her: "Yes. Would you like it back?"

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👤︎ u/Flayan514
📅︎ Feb 26 2016
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Boxers can be a bit dodgy.
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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You know what would be nice?

A giant sculpture of an N, made out of ice.

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👤︎ u/Redylriws
📅︎ Mar 22 2018
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My son texted me saying he'd been robbed by some guy.

"Give me a quick description of what he looked like," I text him.

"Six foot beard with green eyes and a moustache."

I said, "His beard sounds terrifying."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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What would reddit be named if it was just dedicated to puns?

Geddit?

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👤︎ u/eraykaan
📅︎ Nov 01 2014
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A friend and I were trading sponge puns... (Hint: I really milked it)
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👤︎ u/Jank_Tank
📅︎ Sep 07 2016
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Does anyone have any favourite puns?

Like the best pun, that no matter what everyone seems to laugh at or that you really loved. Maybe a little description of why you loved it or why it's so funny. :)

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📅︎ Jul 22 2017
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My soon-to-be 6year old got me Good

So every night for the past almost 6 years I sing her the Sunshine Song

You know, "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine."

And after a few years I got tired of it and would start songs from the nightmare before Christmas (because I'm a big elfman nerd) and Part of your world (because I'm completely obsessed with singing out of key chick verses and the little mermaid is dope af) but she would SCREAM anytime I started anything that wasn't the Sunshine song, I love this, so I go on for a couple bars while she's screaming then calm her down and sing the right song. To be fair, she likes the I'm On The Outside by boingo, so I belt that too. Although it's only acceptable in the car.

Now here I want to add that in the description of the event I will place a * where she interrupts me and the words immediately after that * will be her words.

Ok, so she's in bed just now and I said What song do you want me to sing?

Obvs sunshine dude.

So I start with the "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/juksayer
📅︎ May 16 2018
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My 6-year old son came out of his room after bedtime...again.
Kiddo : Enters stage left.
Dad   : "What are you still doing awake? Go to bed."
Kiddo : "But I feel like there's something I need but I don't know what it is."
Dad   : "There is something you need that you're not getting right now."
Kiddo : "What's that?"
Dad   : "Sleep. Go to bed."
Kiddo : Exits stage right, sardonic expression that simply says "Dad, am not amused."
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📅︎ Aug 08 2014
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Got the police this morning

So around 130 this morning I heard someone using a circular saw outside my apartment. I got out of bed pissed off and saw through my window two people were cutting apart the fence surrounding our garbage bins and stole it.

After 2 hours of unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, I went out for a smoke and saw a cop car in our lot. Somebody had made a noise complaint and the police responded.

I spoke to them and after giving them a description of what I saw (they found the entire situation hilarious) I asked them "so would you consider this a fence offence?"

Groans were had by all.

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📅︎ Aug 19 2015
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Feb 22 2016
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I stayed in Australia for a while and was rewarded with the ultimate Dad story

My friend had a really interesting job. One of those jobs you didn't know people could get.

tl;dr just read it, it's worth reading the whole description of the job

Before I moved, my neighbor's job was based in Antarctica. He worked with one of the research centers there, and his job was standing up penguins. I kid you not — when shipments arrived by air, like by helicopter or by airplane or whatever, the penguins would all look up with their tiny heads and look up so high they would fall over backwards. Now, penguins are super awkward in how they waddle everywhere, and so, not wanting to disturb the local environment, the research station had to have someone that could suit up and go out there and stand up penguins.

As soon as every shipment arrived, he would say, "Welp, better go suit up now," get into the whole penguin suit, and waddle out there all incognito and stand the penguins on their feet again. I'm sure they could have done it on their own, eventually, but the idea was

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/L1AM
📅︎ Dec 08 2013
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Recently made a trip to Ford's Theatre in Washington D.C....

Made a trip to DC by myself and went to Ford's Theatre as part of the trip. I uploaded a couple picture's I took into an album and made a brief description of each, because I knew my family would be interested in looking. Then my father, who is normally a very silent man who rarely ever smiles (let alone cracks a joke), commented this.

Simple, yet effective.

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📅︎ Mar 27 2016
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At restaurants...

Every time my dad will read the description of a dish and when asked what he would like he will order by the description next to the name of the dish. While the waiter/waitress groans my dad will start chuckling about how funny he is.

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📅︎ Sep 15 2013
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[Meta] Better Titles Would be Nice.

Almost every day the top posts use a title similar to "Dadjoked so-and-so" or "I got dadjoked". These are pretty crappy titles.

A lot of times a dad-joke is so short, punny, and sweet that a more descriptive title is impossible; but there are clearly better titles for most of the submissions.

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👤︎ u/Rainblast
📅︎ Aug 29 2014
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