Did you hear about the italian chef that died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast🙏🏻❤️
Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?
Because he was a neck-romancer.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
Gf asked for help, and I did the best I can
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, damn it! Breathe!
Ah, I see what you did there
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
Why did the dime run for President?
Because he kept hearing that people wanted to vote for change.
Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?
Did you know your nose can't be longer than 12 inches ?
Otherwise it will be a foot.
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
Pirate gets his ears pierced. How much did it cost.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
Did you know....
6 out 7 dwarfs aren’t happy?
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter?
"Did you hear the rumor about butter?"
"Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?
It's called carbon dating.
Did you hear about the soldier who got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?
Why did the blind man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well
Why did the ghost soccer team win all their games?
They were amazing at possessing the ball.
*My son's joke. I'm so proud.
Did you hear the one about the guy who lost his hearing aids?
Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers
They were all excellent at marxmanship
What did the sushi say to the bee?
What did scientists call the shovel when it was first created?
A ground-breaking discovery
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
Did you know that Americans eat more bananas than monkeys every year?
Which makes sense, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What did 60 do when it got hungry?
Did you hear about the color bomb?
What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
How did Jesus get his physique?
We all know that 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
His doctor told him to get three square meals a day.
What did the frenchman think about his skydiving instructor?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Why did the clock get fat?
It kept going for seconds.
Did you know that crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?
My daughter came into my "home office" (closet) and said, "You wanna hear a joke?" I told her that I did
Daughter: "Quarantine."
Me: . . .
Daughter: "You don't get it. It's an inside joke."
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
Someone told him to “get along little doggie”
Did you hear why melons have big elaborate weddings?
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
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