My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...

my comedic tie, Ming."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?

Because he wanted to look sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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What do you call a penguin with a bow tie and a golden oak leaf?

Major Party Fowl

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ziggystarfist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
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Name a bow that can’t be tied?

A rainbow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodboyBill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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My boss asked me: Why you don't have a tie?

I said: Why knot

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyyppi_00
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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A piece of string walks into a bar.

Before he sits down the bartender yells β€œHey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!”

The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.

The bartender says β€œAren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Got my wife last night.

Getting out of the shower I slapped grabbed and jiggled my wife's butt, she responded with an uuugghhh, can you not? I said yeah what do you need a bow knot, square knot, tie knot? I know a lot of knots. Naturally I got the expected eye roll and another long drawn out uuuugggghhhhh.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalxhead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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3 pasta puns

What do you call it when the Italian Mafia fixes the awards for the best musicals?
Rigatoni.

What do you call it when a plate of bow tie pasta falls off of a skyscrapper?
Farfalle.

What's James Bond's favorite pasta?
Mini penne.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Preparing for my brother's wedding

My brother got married recently. While we were getting dressed in our tuxedos, my dad and my brother's wife's sister's husband, who is a gynecologist, were trying to figure out how to tie my brother's bow tie (the rest of us had clip-ons).

They were watching a video as my gyno-in-law carefully followed along. My dad said, 'It's so complicated. So many folds.' And my brother's wife's sister's husband said, 'good thing I'm a gynecologist'

posted this story as a comment in a recent r/AskReddit post. Thought you'd like it too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alydm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
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At the grocery store with my girlfriend

We were looking for some elbow pasta and I jokingly said "Huh, I didn't realize "bow" was a Spanish word" (el bow). She chuckled and said she also wanted to get some bow ties as well since the pasta was on sale. I said "Don't you mean "los bow ties?" and we started cracking up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R0CKER1220
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
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