They both have a great time.
He orders a drink, and asks for the check.
Duck billed platypus.
Edit: Thanks guys.
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
He was a little drunk.
The bartender says we don't serve food here
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
Pun in, ten dead.
The difference is staggering
"... and one for the road."
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
then a table, and a chair
“Ya, I’m positive.”
He asked the bartender for a beer, and one for the road.
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
The bartender says "AU get out of here!"
The bar got shut down by the health department.
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
He was hit in the temple.
...just kidding, they know better.
“Five beers, please.”
Why didn’t the second man duck?
He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, “If you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”
The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”
He was instantly disqualified
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
He said to the bartender, “Arr, it’s driving me nuts!”
...it was tense.
He said it left a bruise.
The bartender said "I'll serve you, BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!"
a Bus Bar
random thought while being passed by a bus.
The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."
The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.
The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"
The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.
The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"
The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.
The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"
The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"
“It’s a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff”, said the bartender.
“Just call me Hoff”, he replied.
“Sure”, said the bartender, “no hassle”.
Because the bartender keeps saying, “Can I get U anything?”
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
But they didn’t planet.
In-prison-mint.
... He came, he saw, he conquered
I mean, how low can you go?
Things got a little tense.
And a mop.
