A few years ago, I visited a psychic who predicted that Joe Biden would beat Donald Trump in an election. She also predicted that soon, a global pandemic would break out and spread across the world.
In retrospect, her psychic vision was 2020.
Scientists have observed that when one pizza delivery guy falls over, several others also fall over
This is known as the domino's effect.
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
I also apologize if this isn’t allowed
My doctor, who is also a clown... Asked me what seems to be the problem
I said, funny you should ask
Credit to @comicsbyandy for this political cartoon that also has a pun
https://preview.redd.it/juu01g2we3s51.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=363c4e4cc3b0dd44ac8193dcdb74ee01bc854813
Did you know SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus? Did you know “tuba” is also an acronym?
Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
Edit: good lord, I didn’t know someone else posted this previously. I thought it was funny as heck and my kids rolled their eyes when I told it SO THERE.
Did you hear about the professional bowler who was also a gymnast?
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
Google stop should also be there
what do you called a website that talked about reading, and also criticized a lot.
Did you hear about the ophthalmologist who was also a comedian?
His jokes are pretty cornea.
Devil puns anyone? Lol also promoting Lucifer huhu can’t wait
Did you hear about the farmer who was also an MC?
He could raise beets, and drop them.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
They also have a shipping number
There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.
Did you hear about the baseball player that is also a hacker?
They've been hitting everyone with their.bat
This one is in spanish, but I’ll translate also!!
¿Qué dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?
“¡PA’CA! ¡PA’CA!”
English:
What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?
“Over here! Over here!”
(“Pa’ca” means “over here” in colloquial Spanish)
(I’m of Cuban descent for reference)
What do you call a doctor who also deals with cars ?
I'm opening a steel mill that also sells the steel for a discount
It's called He Who Smelt it Dealt it
It’s also oddly satisfying
I remember when the kids used to tease me for my abilities as a tailor. I also had the same retort:
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...
Pho Ton Torpedoes.
(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
What’s a good thing to give an electrician who’s also a redditor?
Did you know the Ace of Base lead singer was also a mathematician?
I snuck up behind my daughter and whispered, "I think our microwave and our TV are spying on us!!! And I also think our vacuum cleaner..."
"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
I've just come to the realisation that in a way a baker is technically also a parent...
Because their raisin bread.
People hate Mondays because they are also
Sweet revenge:) (also the edit is because I had to translate the message so sorry about that)
SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym...
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
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