27 Hilarious Include Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

👍︎ 15k

💬︎

👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Jan 29 2021

🚨︎ report

Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/jahmelie

📅︎ Apr 07 2021

🚨︎ report

I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/psychpopnprogncore

📅︎ Feb 22 2021

🚨︎ report

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable?

Not neccescelery.

👍︎ 50

💬︎

👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 15 2021

🚨︎ report

My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/theRiverknows86

📅︎ Jan 18 2021

🚨︎ report

No joke includes a punchline about the maginot line

I guess it's easier to go around it

Edit: typo

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/AtomicApex_

📅︎ Dec 07 2020

🚨︎ report

A few famous Doctors. Others include Dr. House and Dr. Meredith Grey.

👍︎ 21

💬︎

👤︎ u/aj_seravla

📅︎ Aug 25 2020

🚨︎ report

Somebody was giving me a synopsis of their fan fic that includes a killer clown, a talking dog, and a flying house and at the end they said

"that about sums it-up"

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/wtflagnard

📅︎ Jun 27 2020

🚨︎ report

My company is giving yo-yos as our gift this holidays and we are trying to think of a pun to include in our greeting cards. Any ideas?

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/birdlawyer213

📅︎ Dec 03 2019

🚨︎ report

Other names include the- Slide of Death, or the slide to heaven

👍︎ 66

💬︎

👤︎ u/Rud-Hi

📅︎ Mar 17 2019

🚨︎ report

I’m hoping in the next iOS update Apple releases they include more jack o lantern emojis.

But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/bluemelon555

📅︎ Oct 30 2019

🚨︎ report

If a joke doesn't include pachyderms then it's irrelephant

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny

📅︎ Nov 23 2019

🚨︎ report

Disney came up with a Beauty & The Beast remake, but didn't include a princess.

The movie later earned a 'No Belle' prize

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/Escalade1414

📅︎ Feb 06 2020

🚨︎ report

What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/pyroperformer93

📅︎ Aug 29 2019

🚨︎ report

Reminder: Please don't include the punchline in the topic.

Howdy punsters!

Please remember when posting to /r/puns that the punchline should be in the post itself, not the topic. Puns should be self-explanatory. If you have to explain it, please do so in the comments. We've had a lot of puns lately, especially images, ruined before clicking on them when the whole thing was spoiled in the topic line.

Up to now, we've been assigning "for shame" flair when this happens, but it's become very common lately. As a result, posts with punchlines in the topic will be removed.

Thanks!

👍︎ 21

💬︎

👤︎ u/Batshit_Betty

📅︎ Apr 01 2018

🚨︎ report

A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day." twitter.com/meganamram/st…

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/MistakesNeededMaking

📅︎ Sep 09 2018

🚨︎ report

My dad likes bad puns, so I decided to include some on his Father's Day card envelope. Thought you all might appreciate!

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/Jack-ums

📅︎ Jun 17 2018

🚨︎ report

The Code of Hammurabi, written on a stele, includes the concept of innocent before guilty

It is truly a momental piece in legal history.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Pun-isher42

📅︎ Jan 14 2019

🚨︎ report

If you want people to buy your product, include a picture of sperm and an egg in your advertisement...

Because sex cells.

👍︎ 18

💬︎

👤︎ u/Scarbrow

📅︎ Jul 09 2017

🚨︎ report

George R. R. Martin's love of food does not include rye bread

In his opinion, "What is bread is never rye."

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/xwhy

📅︎ Jan 26 2018

🚨︎ report

what do you call it when a mafia boss named Ana Conda sends his snobbish criminal henchman to go on a mission that includes said henchman to go down multiple flights of stairs?

Conda sending condecending con decending

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/Jackg4444

📅︎ Aug 15 2015

🚨︎ report

Some other works include Romeow and Julipet, The Winter’s Tail and A Midsummer Night’s Cream imgur.com/FD8akdp

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/Morris_Less

📅︎ Aug 20 2014

🚨︎ report

[x-post] random comment in /r/food includes amazing dadjoke

Imho, the father of /u/SweatingToilet joins the dadjoke Hall of Fame with this gem.

https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/3t402c/roommate_gave_me_a_cutout_from_a_magazine_and/cx31fbt

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/InSearchOfGoodPun

📅︎ Nov 17 2015

🚨︎ report

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable?

Not necesscelery!

👍︎ 19

💬︎

👤︎ u/BeersForSmarch

📅︎ Feb 19 2021

🚨︎ report

Any able to help come up with puns the include “price”?

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/knord1308

📅︎ Jan 24 2020

🚨︎ report

Just spent $300 dollars on a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver......

Cant believe i just spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

👍︎ 202

💬︎

👤︎ u/phyzix1981

📅︎ Jan 28 2019

🚨︎ report

If a joke doesn't include pachyderms...

then it's irrelephant

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny

📅︎ Nov 23 2019

🚨︎ report