My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...
My daughter was all worked up, and I told her to relax. She screamed "I can't!!!".
So I asked her if she could lax again.
I worked with this guy Rob once...
...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.
He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.
"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
As a woman who worked for the church this past year, guess how much sex I had?
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.
She was in charge of the hops.
I don't think it worked out
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.
It was a real paradigm shift.
When my uncle worked at the iron mill he made a fortune sneaking out material that he could sell. One can say he was very good at steeling.
I met an atheist who worked for a charity the other day..
She said it was a non-prophet organization.
My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory
I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's
Did you hear about the Dairy Farmer who always worked late?
He was udderly exhausted.
When I worked at the Haunted Mansion, a guest once asked me if we had any beer available.
I said, "No. We only have spirits here."
Ron worked at Chihuahua Nation Incorporated.
One day, a blind customer came in with his chihuahua and demanded a return. “What’s wrong with your CNI dog, sir?” Ron asked. He yelled, “This isn’t what I meant!”
When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”...
“Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews
I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.
If Carole Baskin worked at a distillery,
She would be barrel caskin'
I once worked at a place where I had to use a pay-to-cross bridge 10 times a day...
I think I have worked out why students dislike math teachers
They just keep giving you problems.
Man I worked hard on this for my first post, it has LAYERS
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
I haven't worked in over a year.
Don't tell my boss I said that.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position
A colleague at worked complained he couldn't find any clean cups. "Maybe they're in the naughty corner," I offered. "Why would they be there?" he asked.
"Because they were acting like mugs."
My friend Margaret said she once fell into a large vat of detergent at the factory she worked...
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
My dad was doing a crossword the other day, he shouted across the room, 'Help me with 11 down the clue is: Over worked Postman'. 'How may letters?' I asked.
Tim worked in a brewery until one day he was fired without notice....
So he went to his boss's office and said, Budweiser?
My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...
He was a one-hint wonder!
A young man worked at a carpet selling business
A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"
My dad is an Iraqi that worked for Glad.
I worked pretty hard at reposting this, can I get some appreciation
I once worked for a ventriloquist...
He was a pain in the butt
I worked out yesterday, and today I hurt as much as a large prehistoric reptile.
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
My friend found he worked best when instructions were spoken aloud. Then he could perform them.
It was easier said then done.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
I worked as an elevator operator
The job had its ups and downs
I don't get it, it worked
My wife has left a note on the fridge with the text: "This doesn't work". I examined the refrigerator and it worked, so now I'm waiting for her to come home to explain what she meant
I went out with a one legged girl once who worked in a brewery.
She was in charge of the hops.
I dated a one legged girl who worked at the brewery....
She was in charge of the hops
I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery.
She was in charge of the hops.
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