Wherever Puns

(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."

.....others will cause happiness whenever they go.

Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.

For a bat, every room is the batroom.

He's not dead by the way, just very condescending.

I think I’m being storked.

ambience chaser

People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.

Because together they both are legendary.

But in Germany, it's the wurst.

For proper gander purposes.

In case he ever meets soup or man

I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."

Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

“Wherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

“Yes of course” replied Trevor

It doesn’t matter. It won’t come if you call it.

(the joke makes more sense in dutch)

My dad talking to my nephew about his pet horse he used to have.

"My horse was an oddball, wherever we'd go he'd look for water to splash around in. one time we went to the beach and he'd jump into the water and swim around."

Two weeks later we're hanging out and my aunt tells dad she heard the story about his horse, and asked what kind of horse it was.

"a seahorse"

(in dutch he talked about a dog, and a seal in dutch is "zeehond" (seadog))

Grandpa: Are you being safe with this Corona Virus issue?

Me: of coarse!

Grandpa: Very good, make sure you always have a mask on outside and carry a bunch of sand with you!

Me: I always have a mask on but why do I need sand?

Grandpa: You didn't hear about the sand? Its very effective! Wherever you suspect the virus is hiding, you grab a handful of sand and throw the sand at it to stone the virus to death!

I love my grandpa lol made me laugh

Wherever she hid she was always spotted.

Wherever I drove, people would say, “look at that little s-car go!”

They’re carrying around pounds in their wallets wherever they go.

So everybody knows I light up the room wherever I go

Thank you guys for this. It helps me spread joy and laughter wherever I go.

One day Mario and Luigi were arguing with eachother after they came across a very unique ghost in their travels. See, this particular spirit had a permanent rain cloud above her head, leaving water wherever she went. Even more curiously, she permanently had her nose buried in a book!

Mario was adamant "No one's ever seen anything like this before. We should contact the librarians in Peaches Castle to document this."

But Luigi was infuriated and set out to prove his brother wrong. After many hours in the library, he threw a monsters compendium on the desk infront of his brother and exclaimed...

"Take a look.

Its in the book.

Its a reading Rain Boo."

It was the best damn show I've watched in years.

Credit for this joke goes to wherever my local Pantomime stole it from

Wherever you left him.

"That's the dead centre of [wherever we are], that is!" `

At the restaurant I work at a guy came in with his 2 daughters. I said, " have a seat wherever you like."

The man proceeded to sit on the floor and said, "is here okay?"

Son: Mom, what's your dream vacation?

Wife: Wherever your father is.

Me: That makes my dream vacation difficult.

Others, whenever they go.

“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”

my grandfather started to say. You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a block of butter as well. But today... he continued. Wherever you go, there are security cameras everywhere