What puns can you make containing the word "rush?"
What starts with a W and ends with a T.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?
What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?
You get fat. What, were you expecting a pi joke? Reddit doesn’t have pie days!
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?
What do you call a kinky dinosaur?
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
What has three letters and starts with gas?
What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing?
What do you do when you’re addicted to seaweed?
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
You know what? I think I can.
What do you after an Apple turns bad?
What does a deaf gynecologist do?
I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for
So far no one has given me a straight answer
What starts with an E
Ends with an E and only has one letter in it?
>!Envelope!<
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
What did 50Cent do when he got hungry?
What happens to an egg every time you look at it?
What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?
"Son, what're you drinking" "Soy milk"
"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
What kind of rocks are sour?
Limestone!
This was made up in the car by my 8 year old son as we were driving home from our Fathers Day outing. Promised I'd share it.
What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
What do you call karate for amputees?
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
My son asked if I could tell him what a solar eclipse is
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
What is it called when you die and are born again as a hillbilly?
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
What is E.T. short for?
Cause he has little legs!
What’s a Pirate’s favourite letter?
If you thought R you’d be wrong. Everyone knows a true pirates first love is always the C.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together we can stop this shit
What do you call a Bee living in America
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
What genre are national anthems?
What does a vegan zombie say?
What would their child look like?
What is the number one cause of divorce in America?
the truth is what we need
What does a clock do when it's angry?
“What do you call a corgi who goes undercover?” (drawn by: me)
What did the 0 say to the 8?
What jokes are allowed during quarantene?
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What is the least spoken language in the world?
A farmer takes a rest on a bale of hay. “I love my job” he says aloud. A sheep replies “All you do is boss me around all day!” The farmer, clearly upset by this statement, responds “What did you just say??” The sheep replies:
What do you call a fat psychic?
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym...
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
All the names are puns but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the Duke’s name is supposed to mean
You know what they say about hindsight!
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
What does a condiment wizard perform?
What would you call Quinton Tarantino if he caught the coronavirus
What’s green and doesn’t weigh much?
Dad: What’s the first letter in “yellow”?
Kid: Y.
Dad: Because I want to know.
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?
“Are you having a crisis ?”
What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
They work on so many levels.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat ?
Farmer A sells apples, Farmer B sells bananas, what does Farmer C sell?
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
From my offspring. What is the difference between a dad and an elevator?
An elevator can raise a family.
What do you call an ugly dinosaur?
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
What is a thousand times better than instagram?
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
What does it feel like to get hit by a wave frequency?
What are two documents that don't make sense?
What do you call Batman who skips church?
Someone thought I was stupid and tried to explain what a sawhorse is
But I shut him down immediately because I'm well aware that it's the past tense of seahorse
Thanks
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
HDMI
(sourced from r/Jokes by u/Deadly_R)
What did the green grape say to the purple grape
What do you call a wolf that knows it's a wolf
What do sprinters eat before a race?
What odd number is no longer odd when you remove a letter?
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
What do you call tiny dead crustaceans on the highway?
Roadkrill.
(My eight-year-old came up with this one all on his own.)
What happens when a Karen runs into a Boomer?
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
What do you call being roasted by a guy with Ph.D?
What tea do rich people buy?
Son: Daddy there’s a spider in my room. Dad: he’s fine, he’s just minding his own business. Son: what business does a spider have?
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What word starts with w and ends in d
Whats an alchoholics favourite book?
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