I farted in my wallet.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
π︎ 240
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Whats similar in Everest and my wallet?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
Just to remind me why there's no money in there.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
My wallet has been hanging by a thread for over a year
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
You loose ya phone and ya wallet but Alicia keys still there.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
A man started beating me with a cup and stole my wallet.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
I accidentally put my wallet in the freezer last night.
Was a good job really, I needed some cold hard cash!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
What does a dumb empty wallet lack?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
I got arrested for forgetting to take out my wallet before washing my pants.
I was charged with money laundering.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
I had a joke about my wallet..
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
My uncle David just lost his wallet and phone and ID.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 11 2020
Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left its wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich?
It was a Careless Swiss Pear.
π︎ 55
π
︎ Aug 21 2019
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......
I told her not to worry Iβll definitely get my money out of it.
π︎ 529
π
︎ Jan 13 2019
Left my wallet with my horses.
So I can be financially stable
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 19 2019
I drew Β£30 out of the ATM earlier. A couple of minutes later I heard the sound of 'Nessun Dorma' coming from my wallet.
"Must be those three tenners" I thought to myself
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
Robber: Give me your wallet!
Dad: Sure, itβs empty anyway!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
Found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would Jesus do
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
After checking my wallet, I stood in front of the vending machine and confidently said to myself...
π︎ 41
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
Where do cats keep their wallets?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
Saw a jacket I really liked at the store, but forgot my wallet at home.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 08 2019
Why don't supermarkets have an aisle for wallets?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
His wallet is gonna hurts
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 17 2019
Kid knocked my wallet into the dishwater...
I put in the freezer so I'd have some cold hard cash
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
To the guy that found my empty wallet.
I donβt know how to repay you.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
I just pinched this guy's wallet.
But it didn't seem in pain.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
I lost my wallet couple days ago and had to go through security at work
The secuity woman asked "how do you spell your last name?"
So I replied Y-O-U-R-L-A-S-T-N-A-M-E.
She typed it into the system and was about to submit it when she noticed. She was so mad.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Sep 25 2018
Did the laundry today and forgot my wallet in my pants pocket. Now im facing money laundering charges...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 12 2019
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Just farted on my wallet.
π︎ 83
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Just farted on my wallet...
π︎ 128
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Just farted while sitting on my wallet
Finally got some gas money.
π︎ 117
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
I farted in my wallet
π︎ 74
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
I just farted on my wallet....
Now i have some gas money.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
I had to take my wallet out of my pants before washing them.
Money laundering is illegal.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
I found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would jesus do
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
My wife was angry that I spent $500 on a wallet
Told her donβt worry, Iβll get my money out of it
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
I farted in my wallet.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 01 2017
I farted in my wallet
π︎ 817
π
︎ Nov 13 2016
If your wallet goes through the washing machine,
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 31 2019
I farted in my wallet.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Apr 10 2018
I farted on my wallet...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
I farted in my wallet
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 01 2019
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