What did the handbag salesman say when he ran out of Camembert at his dinner party?

Sorry, we're all out of Guccis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you call someone who sells knock-off handbags?

An Im-purse-onator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_blacksphere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My wife took a vacation day to carry her pet lizard around town in her handbag...

It's a purse anole day for her.

Credit: Brevity by Dan Thompson for May 02, 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I didn’t realize ants stole so many handbags

If they didn’t, why do we need anti-purse-per-ant

It’s my first time, be gentle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MurrayTh3Dream
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My wife's handbag is sorely in need of replacement. I offered to get her a new soft leather one, but she declined.

I guess she's not easily purse-sueded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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My girlfriend asked for a handbag for Christmas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cam_Ster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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My wife just made a denim handbag for herself

She said she should have made a video and had blue purse at the end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hmogrant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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The pope asked me to take care of his official ceremonial handbag

It's a blessing, and a purse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benrules2
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2017
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I'm going to design decorative sleeves that go over women's handbags and call them...

... Hot Purse Suits

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Returning the lost purse

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, β€œHmmm . . . that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied,Β β€œThat’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/returning-lost-purse/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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My wife hates Christmas, but I saw this cute little Santa clutch bag, I just had to buy it for her...

But when I gave it to her she just said "Bah handbag"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/83n170
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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A Dungeons & Dragons Related Dad Joke...

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

  • A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
  • A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
  • A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
  • A book full of poetry written during Strahd's younger days, before he was consumed by darkness... the "verse of Strahd"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/transplantasian
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
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