My Tinder date turned out to be shorter than his bio said.
I guess he was telling some tall tales.
I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.
I thought I thaw a pussycat.
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into a bowl of cheese sauce, but it turned out to be honey mustard.
It was a queso mistaken identity.
I came out of the bathroom with a sad look on my face and turned to my wife
"I guess my dad was right after all"
...
"I am full of shit"
So it turned out the woman next door is a nudist.
I’m on the fence about it.
He wood've turned out great too, had he not turned to the other side
I tried watching Edward Scissorhands earlier. Turned out it was just a video of Tim Burton getting his hair done.
I then realised I'd picked up the director's cut
The lions roar was so big that when I compressed it , it turned out to be a " .Rawr " file.
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.
Now I want my Nickelback.
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
I thought I saw a flying German sausage, but it turned out to be a seabird.
I took a tern for the wurst.
A friend of mine offered me a piece of a pizza made out of a magazine that's no longer published. Hesitant at first, it turned out to be tasty!
My state just erected a prison that turned out to be phony...
I was trying to get help for my mental health issues, but the guy helping me turned out to be completely crazy
He was a psycho therapist
My beautiful new date turned out to be a serial killer.
I was really nervous when I was asked to be the main speaker at the Introverts’ annual convention, but everything turned out ok.
Thankfully no one showed up.
Was toasting a hot crossed bun and the power tripped, turned out a raisin had shorted against the toaster element
Must have been a fault currant
There was a kid born at our local hospital with no eyelids. The doctors told the parents they was hope, an experimental surgery where they would use the foreskin from hits circumcision to replace his lids. It was a dangerous surgery but everything turned out ok.
He was just a little cock-eyed
My pie turned out mushy.
I could barely cobble 'er together.
I had hired a man to watch my cattle, but it turned out he was afraid of them.
Did you guys hear how boring the annual gathering of reddit mascots turned out?
It really turned into a huge Snoo's fest.
The passengers who were quarantined from the airplane turned out to have the flu
Dog's 'cancer' turned out to be four teddy bears
Thankfully, it was bear-nign.
I thought I got a booty call, but it turned out to be a butt dial
Met a nice guy last night, turned out to be a one night stand
My son turned out to be a juggalo...
but we've always known he's had Clown Syndrome
I once tried to do a fancy knot in my necktie, but it turned out so bad I went crazy and summoned a Great Old One.
Never figured I would bring forth and Eldredge Abomination.
During cool weather, I turned on the fans in my car. Hot air comes out of the vents.
I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into a bowl of cheese sauce, but it turned out to be honey mustard.
It was a queso mistaken identity.
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