A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
Which animals are the biggest nerds?
Fish, because they spend all their time in schools
Zebras are the least morally ambiguous animals.
They are literally black and white.
We’re you aware that the NFL has a rule on professional athletes and the animals they can own as pets? They are prohibited from owning a duck as a pet!
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
What is the cheapest animal?
A male deer, its only one buck. A female deer is more expensive doe.
What's the strongest animal in the sea?
What animal is the best at preparing for trips?
Elemphants, cause they are pachyderms.
Which animal has the biggest breasts
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.
I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.
Did you hear about Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend breaking into an animal shelter and releasing a bunch of huskies into the wild??
Turns out it was The Who that let the dogs out
Why are fish the most educated animal?
Thy spend their whole life in a school.
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world?
My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighborhood animals immediately started attacking it.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
You know what animal has the hardest life?
Dogs have it pretty ruff.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?
What is the coolest animal?
Frogs, they eat Fly for breakfast.
I have a problem. My wife steals animals from the zoo and hides them in our house.
I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.
Whats the difference between a human and an animal?
You can legally put down one
Which animal won’t share the shrubbery?
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
I saw a big animal during the safari. I think it was an elephant
What’s the most naked animal?
Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
What is the most musical animal?
Which animals are the easiest to embarass?
Sloths are the most social animals.
They always want to hang out.
What's the most inappropriate shaolin animal kung fu style?
No animals were harmed in the posting of this meme
What s the most dangerous animal in 2020?
The panda, because of the pandamic
What farm animals are good for the environment?
Some animals escaped from the zoo and caused ruckus!
Dad: Son, what be a pirate's favorite restaurant? Son: Arrrrby's! Dad: Correct! And what be a pirate's favorite animal? Son: Arrrrmadillo! Dad: Right again! But what be a pirate's favorite body part? Son: Easy. The arrrrrm!
Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!
My family has been getting stir crazy. So we decided to take our son to the local zoo. Problem is, it’s a small zoo. They only have one animal. It’s a dog.
The animals in Australia are dangerous
but they’re the most dangerous in Queensland because they can move in any direction.
I made a graph of all the animals I've observed pooping in my yard.
Why didn't the animals play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah sat on the deck.
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best...
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey stood nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all... hawk, lion and stinker.
A man walks into a zoo and the only animal inside is a dog.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shitzu (Shih Tzu).
I went to the zoo the other day but the only animal there was a dog.
My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
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