An Eel asked an Eagle: do you know why we can't team up?

Eagle: No, why? Eel: Because it would be EEL-Eagle!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why canโ€™t an aquatic predator and an avian predator team up to fight crime?

Because that would be eel-eagle

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BearGuru
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team up and make a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction reddit.com/r/Jokes/commenโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/schmidt_1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard that Fed Ex and UPS are gonna team up to make one big conglomerate

They're gonna call it FED UP

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rowdyybarryy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I joined the figure skating team to pick up girls...

literally.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RoninK
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We should take all the 'talked-up' NFL teams that didn't make the Superbowl...

...and send them to the Hyperbole.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/avidman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What if Iron man and Silver surfer teamed up?

They would be alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rhshi14
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My mother and my wife teamed up on me to encourage me to take my glucosamine and chondroitin pills.

It was joint support for my joint support.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mbrown705
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear that Iron Man and the Silver Surfer are teaming up?

They're going to be alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Super_Bakon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard Ian McKellan, Ian McDiarmid, and Ian Holm are teaming up to defend the Milky Way.

Theyโ€™re calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JiminyKirket
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Muppets teamed up with NASA to name a newly discovered celestial object.

Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet Defrog here."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/salawm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If the Raspberry Pi foundation teamed up with Apple

they could create a micro computer called Apple Pi.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theemptyqueue
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two successful zingers during my colonoscopy

Gastroenterologists have heard every colon/rectum/bile/poop-related joke ad naseum, but I managed to sling a couple of original zingers while being prepped for my colonoscopy.

#1

Me to anesthesiologist: How long have you worked at this clinic?

Anest: About a year. Been with field medical teams my entire career. This is the first time settled down in a clinic...and first time in gastro.

Me: I see. After years in the field, how do like working in an orifice?

Anest.: LOL, no idea how I haven't heard that one yet.

#2

Doctor: We're administering the sedative now. You'll wake up in the recovery bay where I'll brief you.

Me: OK, I'll see you on the outside...[getting groggy]...after you see me on the inside...

Doctor: OK, I'm stealing that one....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/writenroll
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iron Man and the Silver Surfer is teaming up for the next movie to fight crime.

They are alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Ghosts would be terrible sports fans

They'd never show up to their seats and all they would do is boooo their own teams

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PresidentBowser
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
๐Ÿš€ โ€๐ŸŒ•Cybertruck Prototype ๐ŸŒ• โ€๐Ÿš€

โ€๐Ÿš€๐ŸŒ• โ€ELON TWEET HYPE, BUT WITH LEGIT LONG TERM DEVS . ๐ŸŒ• โ€๐Ÿš€
Strap in and get ready to launch.

This was created by a professional dev team of HOGL And BUFFTOWN (Developers of HOGL and Shield) They are dedicating their spare time to launch this as a meme project that will explode. Get in. Weโ€™re going to run this long term for listings on both CMC and Gecko.
Cybertruck Prototype has an ambitious core team of experienced Crypto veterans, all working day and night ( I mean this, we actually forced one to stay up well past his bed time while in the voice channel. ) to make sure we get to the moon fast, and safe.

โญ๏ธ โญ๏ธ โญ๏ธ 4.6MM 24Hour Volumeโญ๏ธโญ๏ธ โญ๏ธ
โญ๏ธ Market Cap as of typing this 2.3MMโญ๏ธ

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This is NOT a P&D. Liquidity is LOCKED, and ownership RENOUNCED.

CONTRACT RENOUNCED:
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โญ๏ธ Contract:

bscscan /token/0xf340E33aef552C836b4538BA09bBfCcd5f42fa17

โญ๏ธ CHART:

poocoin /tokens/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17

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t me /CyberTruckPrototypeOfficial

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twitter /officialcybert

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r /CyberTruckPrototype

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lynseahoss
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Cyborg and Iron man teamed up to defeat Thanos

Later they became good alloys

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weabooass6669
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Fitbit and Rolex teamed up to make a luxury/premium fitness tracker...

...would they call it a Swolex?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/celticwhisper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Creators Of Super Mario Bros Are Teaming Up With Bread Companies To Promote Their Products...

...Theyยดre calling the plan ninten-dough

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BluPurpleBluBlu
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad and brother teamed up!

I'm home for the holidays so I was lying down in my room when suddenly my brother and father burst in! My brother is holding a tape measure.

They say "Hey, check out this new physics we've invented!" while my brother fiddles with the tape measure.

I looked up and with a mixture of horror and resignation I asked "What?"

"It's the principle of BELLYTIVITY!" while stretching the tape measure between their belly buttons.

Cackling they both ran out of the room.

I'm stuck here for five more weeks. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Eschaton
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The card game

A few years ago, was playing a card game with my frisbee team. We were competing in a frisbee tournament for spring break, and we had discs lying all around the Airbnb we were sleeping in. After playing the first few hands, I realized I didn't know what to do with my old cards.

I asked my teammate where I should put my used up cards. They pointed to some cards lying in a frisbee.

It was a disc card, discard pile.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Phaesporic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've been hosting a quiz...

...and we have players from all over the world.

Last night, the team from Madrid cleaned up, they got 100%. Everyone was completely shocked.

Nobody expected the Spanish in our Quiz Session.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PM_ME_BEEF_CURTAINS
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Help me come up with a pun for work!!!

So Iโ€™m going to be in charge of a team for work and I need a punny team name involving one of the following words/phrases.

I want my team to be dinosaur/Jurassic Park themed and my company is called Caption Call.

I need to use something from the following list:

Caption Captioner Callers CA CAs Dictate

For example thereโ€™s another team called โ€œCaption Americaโ€

The best Iโ€™ve come up with is โ€œveloci-captionersโ€ but itโ€™s a reach...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DudleyTheDino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man called the police regarding a fly problemโ€ฆ

So I'm watching a show called outrageous 911 Calls, and there was a story of an old man who was cooking bacon that ended up burning. So he opens up his back door to try and air out some of the smoke. Well, the smell starts attracting flies and of course he calls the police to report it and hope that they can send someone to handle the fly issue. The emergency operator says the police cannot do anything to help him.

So I turn to my friend who is watching along side me, and I say, "Obviously the police can't help him, he needs a swat team."

Bah dum, tss

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deatoai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Shakespeare

I heard that the people of Webster's dictionary are teaming up with the Shakespeare theater company to introduce a new production. I hear its just going to be a play on words.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheCaptMAgic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Are you a cheese grater?

Cause you're shredding me!

(Context: I came up with this while I was playing a video game and my team was getting its ass kicked, so this would really be the only kind of scenario one could use this pun in)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nicktator3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two woman are sitting on a roof because their town is being flooded

The second woman looks to the first woman and asks what they should do?

"God will save us" she says.

The two women sit there for a while and watch the water continue to rise. Eventually a rescue team in a rubber dinghy turn up.

"Jump on" says the rescuer. The second woman quickly jumps into the dinghy. The first woman looks annoyed and states bluntly that "God will save me". The rescuer shakes his head and drives off.

A few hours go by and the rain begins falling harder and harder. The entire house aside from the roof is submerged.

She hears the sound of a helicopter before she sees it. The helicopter hovers above and throws down a rope ladder.

"Climb up!" Shouts the rescuer.

The woman shakes her head refusing to move "No, god will save me".

The rescuer shakes his head and the helicopter flies off.

Time passes by and the water is now up to the top of the roof. She hears an aeroplane swoop in low overhead, dropping life jackets along the street for anyone left behind.

"No" she shakes her head "God will save me!"

The inevitable happens and after she drowns the storms into heaven upset. "God! Why didn't you save me?"

He looks to her and rolls his eyes. "Well I sent a boat, a helicopter and a life jacket what else do you want me to do?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Naiphe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Participating in my first pun competition soon- advice?

The first round is 90 seconds to come up with as many puns as possible. Second round is teams, round-robin style. Any pro punners out there with tips?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/blueridgerose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friends and I went to watch our favorite team throw around the ol' pigskin.

We agreed to paint our chests to read "FOOTBALL" as we sat in the stands. But two of my pals, the first and second "O", didn't show up. And our team lost! I really should've expected that outcome. My absent friends were the bad o-men.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/garbagearmy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€


Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Iron Man and Sliver Surfer teamed up, what would they be?

Alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Guyshu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up ...

They'd be alloys!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Charles_Deetz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be alloys!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 306
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Degtyrev
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up...

They formed an alloy-ence

๐Ÿ‘︎ 63
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andrewtl271
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iron Man and The Silver Surfer are teaming up for the next movie.

They will be alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up...

They would be alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 185
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fatandsalt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up

They would be alloys.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 141
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DraketheDrakeist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Buddy in class just asked me this in class

If iron man and the silver surfer teamed up, would they be alloys?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 251
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thegerk551
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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