I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NRGFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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The whole Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a bit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocbrad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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I'm really tempted to spruce up my car with a spoiler

Which one should I pick:

Snape kills Dumbledore or Luke, Darth Vader is your father or ???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubius0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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A bee wanted to spruce up honey.

A bee decided he was over the typical honey he'd been eating so he went to a Mexican restaurant for some culinary advice. When he returned, he made up his new secret dish for his bee friends. Feeling nosy, the other bees asked, "tThis honey is delicious! What's in this?!" The chef bee exclaimed, "It's nacho beeswax!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrfitzny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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My dad decided to spruce up a jar of my great aunt's homemade pickles

http://imgur.com/qusMgtD She makes apple sauce too so I think that's what got him to make the association. This wasn't the only victim of his use of the free stickers that come with everyone's iPhones, though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChriSe7en
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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I’m really loving the tree puns people are posting

They’re just such lightwooded jokes but I understand that it doesn’t teaks everyone’s fancy. I’m running out of tree puns so I might have to branch off to other puns or spruce up my current ones

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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So I my son started to bark at me

Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WisdomThingy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Finally put up the Christmas tree...

It really spruced up the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinda-unrelated
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I tried to change the wood of my table but got yelled at

I was just trying to spruce things up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cauanguy1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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I got fired for changing the wood on my jobs counter

I was just trying to spruce up the mood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cauanguy1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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So I’m trying to work on tree puns

I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmiddleton6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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I've been trying to convince my girlfriend to get into to lumberjack cosplay

I haven't convinced her yet but I feel like it could really spruce things up

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Horrible pun list

Did you hear about that black hole? Nvm. It doesn't matter anyway

This is a pretty OAKay sentence, it may need some SPRUCEing up tho. Dang I need to start branching out with this stuff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaDerpGoat
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
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I just picked out a fresh christmas tree....

It really spruces up the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calzone11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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So I went to a Pun-off last night...

Lady and a Man talking about trees.

Lady: Well this is a nice christmas tree! Wood you put something like this in your house?

Man: Yes, it's very nice. It wood really spruce up the place.

Lady: It's rather plane, it could use some decorations.

Man: Oh I think it's so pretty my eyes are watering up, I might Balsam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WakeskaterX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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