What did the Frenchman say as he went down the slide?

Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/11_e1even_11
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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What fruit likes to go down slides?

Ki-Wheeee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I'm closing one eye, down this water slide...

Winking in a water wonderland!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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What do you call it when you piss down a slide?

A weeee wee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acekayrox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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We just got brand new hardwood floors and my wife wanted to slide down the hallway in her socks (true story).

Wife: I'm gonna do a Jerry McGuire down the hallway!

Me: That's "Risky Business" honey

Wife: Don't worry I'll be careful!

Me: ....ok dear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetewj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Why doesn’t Santa slide down chimneys anymore?

Cause he’s Claustrophobic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My wife said that her mood swings,

Well mine usually goes down the slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoE_MoMA420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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A Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park and see a slide. This is no ordinary slide, mind you, this slide is magic!

Anything you say as you're going down the slide is what you will land in.

The Irishman goes first.

"A POT OF GOLD!" he yells as he slides down and he lands in a pot of gold.

The Welshman goes next.

"POT OF DIAMONDS!" he yells just as loud as the Irishman and he lands in a pot of diamonds.

The Englishman goes next, but he's been on the drink, so he stumbles his way up the slide, then, as he begins his journey down the slide, he yells, "WEEEEE!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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French people must be so confused at water parks.

People keep shouting yes when going down the slides

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Headless_05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Pirates found a trove of treasure and brought four chests aboard...

They put them in the hold and, as it was fair weather, didn't strap them down.

However, as they sailed on, they hit a storm, the ship knocked back and forth.

The captain went down to check on the treasure to find it sliding around the deck.

As a crewman asked how bad it was, the captain replied...

"Booty! Booty! Booty! Booty! Rocking everywhere!"

[This is probably my worst joke yet]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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How do monkeys get downstairs?

They slide down the bananaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tombola201uk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

β€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

β€œPlease, call me Max”

β€œAlright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

β€œNo that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, β€œI’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyohnny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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