A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that
I put it in the wrong place......
3 years ago
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...
“Noooo” screamed the spring as he was pushed down the stairs.
“What are you doing doing doing ...”
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs
It was wong on so many levels
What do you call a dinosaur that pushed in in the queue?
Weretheydefinitelybeforeus?
Ya know, I saw superhero on the street once, he was in line for a hotdog, read this guys mind and saw that his head was in the clouds, and he just pushed in front of him!
If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.
When I went to the Dead Sea my wife came up behind me and pushed me in. Everyone who saw it thought it was hilarious.
I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:
"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"
One of my favorite times in my life was when my brothers put me in car tires and pushed me down hills
The fireman was injured on the job. Some say he was pushed, some think something fell on him.
I think it was the latter.
(Thought up this gem while trying to sleep at 3 am. lol.)
What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?
Someone pushed me off a dock today for singing poorly.
Do you know the guy whose friend pushed into the ocean as a prank?
So I just pushed my son into the ocean.
Understandably, he was a bit salty.
What happened when 8 got pushed over?
He was infinitely annoyed.
(From my son)
Last time I saw my ex-wife, what she said made me so mad I pushed her in the river
Q: What did she say?
A: SPLASH!
I came out with this on the street and she nearly pushed me under a bus.
We walked past a well-known tailor, they make fancy men's clothes and school uniforms to measure. She remarked on how she thought it must be an awful job. I saw my moment and it was glorious.
So I turned to her with barely contained glee and I said, "yeah, I'm sure it's tough but I bet it suits some people".
My daughter complained that I pushed her around and talked behind her back.
I said: But I have to honey, you're in a wheelchair.
What did the lawyer do to the lady that pushed him into a manhole?
Today a man was pushed into a pool by 2 children who disagreed with him.
He's now in stable condition, but is presumed Dad.
So remember the Star Wars project that Reagen pushed back in the 80's?
... Designers at Raytheon really missed a marketing opportunity. They could've had the worlds first Ronald Raygun.
Once during a Halloween pool party I pushed a kid in a ghost costume into the pool, and he wouldn't stop crying.
He was the real wet blanket of the party.
This group of kids ambushed me and pushed me into a cactus.
Someone walked up to me and pushed me so hard i ended up leaning to one side all day
Three elephants are pushed out of a moving plane. Two land on either side of the river. One lands in the river. What sound do they make?
Someone pushed this jazz player over and broke his instrument
He filed for saxual assault
When I was about 9 or 10, my whole family was in my parents' bed watching cartoons. I tickled my brother and he accidentally pushed my mother out of the bed with his spastic reaction...
Pissed, she said something angry like "Joshua, be careful, you could have killed me!"
My dad didn't miss a beat: "Well it was an accident, so it wouldn't be considered mattress-cide anyway."
I lost my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I was asked why I pushed over an old lady at the bank today
I mean, she told me to check her balance
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I was in the bank the other day, an old woman asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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