My hand slipped off the handle of the casket while carrying it to the hearse and left a deep bruise on my leg.
One of my friends slipped in the bed of his truck and knocked himself out....
What did the beaver say when it slipped on water?
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
I slipped on the ice today, and when I got up I had a craving for pasta,
Must've been Italian ice.
Today I slipped and fell while walking out to the car.
I was pissed. I was mad. I looked everywhere for the cause. But alas, it was my own asphalt.
Slipped on a pumpkin today
Did you hear about the Italian chef that slipped in the kitchen?
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...
I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.
I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...
Such a classic and unoriginal, but my dad just slipped this in a conversation.
I had a cold and my dad asked if my nose was running.
I said yes.
He said, You had better catch it then
I love my dad
My wife just got on me about a pretty smelly fart that slipped out...
I told her it was important to do self checks for the loss of smell in the time of the pandemic.
My neighbor slipped and broke his arm.
My wife didn’t think it was funny, but I thought it was quite humerus.
I was running down the aisle to grab the last package of toilet paper, but I slipped and fell before someone else grabbed it.
You could say I completely wiped out.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty
Bf slipped this under the bathroom door
A baby walrus slipped down an iceberg....
“tusssk tussssk tussssk” it’s mother said.
I slipped on my wife's bra today...
I slipped on a bag of vegetables.
I once slipped on a pickle.
I'm over it now but it was a big dill at the time.
Went to university in France, but slipped during winter.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
I knew a lead actor who really did "break a leg" when he slipped off the stage during his performance.
He had a really great cast.
It was so cold that I slipped on the frozen newspaper on my way out the door this morning.
I must have fallen on hard Times.
For two days in a row, I slipped on the frozen newspaper in front of my doorstep on my way out to work.
I seem to have fallen on hard Times.
Out of curiosity, I very quietly slipped an old Tic Tac into my mouth.
It was a silent expired mint.
There was a man protesting the sale of tall ladders by climbing one over 15’ and acting like he slipped and fell, landing in a bush that was secretly a soft-landing pad.
It was a anti-climb antic.
I'd tell you the one about the lady who slipped in the oil...
I slipped in the shower this morning and almost cracked my head.
At least it would have been a clean death.
Did you hear about the man who slipped on a banana and sued?
He won the trial but got overturned on a peel.
This one slipped out of me, she hasn't dumped me yet though...
Her: I have to get home for a party. Bob's 50. It's a surprise.
Me: No, I'm pretty sure he knows how old he is
My doctor slipped in a good one...
Doc: Your weight problem is because of your "seafood" diet...
Me: (puzzled)
Doc: When you "see food", you eat.
So I was clipping the sheep today and I slipped and cut him
Hey, you know what the beaver said when he slipped in water?
Damn it
- Phil Dunphy (Modern Family - Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook)
Me: "Son, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your grandma slipped and fell on a banana peel. She's pretty banged up"
She got a banana Nana boo boo.
This morning, I slipped on some ice and slammed my leg into my truck.
I think I have a concuss-shin.
My dad slipped on a patch of ice today. Being the concerned son, I ask 'dad, are you alright??'
To which he replies 'no son, I'm half left'
Helping my father in law move his gun safe when it slipped slightly and bruised my bicep.
"That gun safe didn't keep my guns safe."
our pastor slipped this dad joke into the sermon
and do you know who the first person mentioned in the bible to not have a father or mother was? it was joshua, because he was the son of nun.
What did the beaver say when he slipped in water?
I'd tell you about the fat kid who slipped in oil...
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