Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?

The Mayo Clinic

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the world's greatest and most unsuspecting salad dressing?

A Cheeseburger

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thoughts-persist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Salad dressing
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish

Balsa McVinegar

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/david622
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?

Dude: Ranch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RBIC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.

Called Neverland Ranch.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it; just in case there's a salad dressing
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a tree's favorite salad dressing?

Branch.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isaiahjc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Stop calling it dressing, you don’t wear it. It’s stuffing.

Because you’re stuffing your face with it since you know you won’t see it again until next Thanksgiving.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the tomato turn red?

It saw the salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it

Cuz there might be a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Been a dad 5 mo, so I’m a little new to this... Hit my wife with this one tonight at dinner.

Me: Dinner is served as soon as you dress the salad.

Wife: What are you thinking?

Me: Business casual.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VoiceofLou
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.

Just in case, there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...

Just in case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/omniwrench-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Always knock on the fridge before opening.

Just in case there is a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_SHIT_A_BRICK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the door of the fridge before opening it.

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it

Just in case there's a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DubstepAndTrap
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge before I open the door...

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

I'll see myself out....

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge before I open it

Just in case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...

Just in case there's a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 208
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/laserspewpew_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you always knock on the fridge before opening it?

There could be a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikachu_555-1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the tomato blushing?

He saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock when I open the fridge

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 156
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShimuDono
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the refrigerator door before opening it.

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I Always Knock On The Fridge Door Before Opening It...

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock before opening the fridge

Just in case there is a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wornsy21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it...

there might be a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gabriel_osi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge before opening it

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cris0613
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge before opening it

Just in case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dgpx89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on my fridge before opening the door

Just in case there's a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teletubbiehubbie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock before opening the fridgerator

....in case the salad is dressing :)

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tmay7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
You can call me a butler

Because I dress the salad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silentdumbarse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you always know ask on the fridge before opening it?

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ankitk2909
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to lunch with a nudist friend...

...and all he ordered was a salad β€” no dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtbuddcody
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the tomato blushing?

It saw the salad dressing....

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MynameisMatlock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_beatnik_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl blush when she opened the refrigerator?

She saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aplay1
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the tomato blushing?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you always knock on a refrigerator door?

In case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GerLAmag
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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