27 Hilarious Pythons Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

A python

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👤︎ u/Ninadsb

📅︎ Feb 22 2021

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What does a python drink to relax?

Gerbil tea.

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👤︎ u/MookieV

📅︎ Jan 22 2021

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Why do python developers wear glasses?

Because they cant C

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👤︎ u/saber_boi

📅︎ Sep 11 2020

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What’s the difference between a Boa and a Python?

A Python doesn’t have feathers.

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👤︎ u/loonmaster2

📅︎ Jul 27 2020

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TIL that during the making of Monty Python's Holy Grail, a crazed gunman got on set.

John Cleese and Graham Chapman were terrified for their lives, but it turned out the guy was just making Idle threats

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👤︎ u/mecoptera2

📅︎ Jul 13 2020

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What would a python calls himself when he goes on diet?

py-thin

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👤︎ u/FamiliarBorder

📅︎ May 05 2020

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Found a python today

That was a missed snake

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👤︎ u/maccer20

📅︎ Apr 20 2020

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And python & C went home

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👤︎ u/theEndWasShit

📅︎ Oct 31 2019

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Did you know that 3.14% of all snakes are pythons and that 2.71% of all fish are eels?

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👤︎ u/stickyfingerszippers

📅︎ Aug 29 2019

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Python

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👤︎ u/Captainspookle

📅︎ May 06 2019

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I finally found it! Where Monty Python and Indiana Jones have failed, I’ve brought back the Holy Gray L.

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👤︎ u/BandeloreJake

📅︎ Jul 23 2018

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Python wrapper for Java

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👤︎ u/Eoussama

📅︎ Jun 20 2019

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in 'monty python and the holy grail,'

did anyone ask why the knights REALLY wanted shrubberies?

...to establish a HEDGEemony ;)

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👤︎ u/berninicaco3

📅︎ Aug 18 2019

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I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jun 15 2019

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The elusive Del Monte Python

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👤︎ u/Skyefx

📅︎ Dec 28 2015

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How long is a python?

Roughly 3.14 meters.

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👤︎ u/HookDragger

📅︎ May 06 2019

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Did you hear about the story about the lost 20 foot python?

No? Well.. i don't have time to go into details, it's very long.

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👤︎ u/breakone9r

📅︎ Dec 27 2017

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The end of Monty python and the holy grail was just a cop out

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👤︎ u/Clay00000

📅︎ Jul 05 2018

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If you're a CS major, there's no snaking around Python.

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👤︎ u/sidewalksInGroupVII

📅︎ Apr 12 2018

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What do you call a python with anorexia?

You call it a pythin!!

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👤︎ u/Coolcross

📅︎ Oct 29 2014

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Check out my "Ball" Python imgur.com/rLLDCc5

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👤︎ u/GeoStigma13

📅︎ Sep 20 2015

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What do you call it when you feed your python the wrong food?

A big missnake!

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👤︎ u/n3aak

📅︎ Mar 09 2018

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Where do Computer Science Majors go to learn Python?

Amazon.com

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👤︎ u/PyrosEnjoyPieHW2

📅︎ Mar 15 2016

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Dad and Peter the Python

context: My dad and I have a baby python named peter, and he's been striking at the glass of the cage when you walk near him.  

  me: Peter is such an asshole, just went to check on him and he went to bite me.  

  dad: Well, I called the vet today about him being mean, turns out he has a reptile-dysfunction.  

  me: GROANS

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👤︎ u/ImTomRS

📅︎ Sep 26 2015

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Why can't a python gwt a hard on?

It has e-reptile dysfunction.

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👤︎ u/LeprechaunLord

📅︎ Jan 17 2018

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So I just found out that Pythons actually squeeze your heart into stopping before you suffocate in their wrap.

I guess that's a little disheartening...

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👤︎ u/KeKaRoNi

📅︎ Jun 16 2017

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First death from Everglades pythons

An intern from the University of Prague was studying the breeding habits of Burmese pythons in the Everglades. Park Rangers were notified when he didn't report in at the end of the day. They managed to capture the pair he was studying.

The necropsy on the female python only found a fawn, several rodents, and a couple of turtle.

When they cut open her mate it was a different story. Sure enough, the Czech was in the male.

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👤︎ u/flaspike

📅︎ Dec 02 2015

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