Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.
I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
I know a surgeon that puts organs back in upsidedown
I told him that's not funny but he said it was an inside joke.
I am trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike, but he still can't seem to do it
I guess it must be sprocket science
I just got back from a long day of duck hunting, so I decided to put my feet up and have my favorite snack.
Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.
Me: Thanks for reminding me.
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
How do you put the pin back in a grenade ?
Why did I put the can of Spaghetti-Os back on the shelf?
What do you use to put a bolt in someones back?
Remember to put the clocks back today.
Don't just leave them laying about the place after you've changed them.
I took apart the coffee maker to clean it but can't figure out how to put it back together.
My wife says this is grounds for divorce...
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"
I was modifying my friend's car and he asked me to put a spoiler on the back
So I wrote "in the Sixth Sense Bruce Willis was a ghost all along" on the back.
I just told my dad I’m going to take a shower, he says “don’t forget to put it back when you’re done.”
XPost from r/Shitty_Car_mods: Just put two 12 inch subs and an amp in the back of my car
I finally put my life back on track
My son took a box of crackers out of the cabinet to get a snack. I told him to put it back with the box top facing out to make it easier next time...
I told him it was a get Ritz quick scheme...
My wife walked in to see that our boys had built a fort in the living room. She shouted, ''PUT THOSE CHAIRS AND BEDSHEETS BACK!!"
I yelled, "YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!!" as I climbed out of fort…
Did you hear about the Bruce Willis movie where his power is to put smashed dishes back together?
Summer 2019 - "Unbreak-a-bowl" coming to a theater near you!
My puppy refused to be put back in his crate for bedtime.
He was charged with resisting a rest.
I tried to finish off my Thanksgiving leftovers today, but there was too much and I had to put them back in the fridge.
Put it back please
Happened 15years ago.
I was giving direction to a friend to our appartment when i said:
"Take route 7 to cascade parkway"
"Take the second exit to parkway north and dont forget to put it back"
Her: "what?"
Me: "yes put it back so someone else can take it"
You could use a stick to put the chain back on your bike.
Doctor: your brain fell out during the accident but don't worry I put it back in
Me: thanks for reminding me
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
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