Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.
He said “oh, you want the Snyder Cut”.
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
I’ve decided to give up drinking and replace booze with mashed potato...
I guess you could say I’ll just be getting sMASHED from now on.
When cybernetics are I’m going to replace my penis with a revolver
I could finally say I have a magnum dong
If You want to replace pet rodents, Which state should you go to?
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
I had to replace 3 flats on my car...
I had to replace my chain saw
The old one just wasn't cutting it anymore.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
& I am planning to replace the laptop
I went to the hardware store and told the cashier I had to replace the plumbing for my sink. "Water pipes?" She asked.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
My girlfriend thought it would be funny to replace my medicated shampoo with regular shampoo. I tried to understand why it was funny, but
the joke just left me scratching my head.
Did you hear the story in the news about the man who planned to replace his head with a rabbits?
What a hare-brained scheme.
If you lose a watch and replace it...
Would you be making up for lost time?
They should replace batons with clocks in relay races
It would be a great way to pass the time
I had to replace all the windows in my house today...
How do you replace a missing button on a dress shirt?
Lay out the shirt on a table, thread a needle, put a spare button in the place where the old one was, and so on...
I was asked to replace a doorknob
I said, "I'll handle this."
If the parachute doesn't open, bring it back and we will replace it.
Heard from an old Jump Instructor while handing out parachutes.
A church recently sustained a lot of damage, and had to hire a contractor in order to replace all of it's bells which were destroyed. After completing the work, all of the contractors were promptly arrested.
They were charged with re-belling.
I contacted someone to replace the old wood on my floor.
I’m still waiting for a re ply.
If someone gave you $1,000,000 to replace their fuse...
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.
Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.
What do you get when you replace the carbonation in a cola with helium?
Why couldn't the viking clan replace the boat they lost?
They couldn't affjord it.
Accordion to a recent study, you can replace one word with the name of a musical instrument without anybody noticing.
There was a kid born at our local hospital with no eyelids. The doctors told the parents they was hope, an experimental surgery where they would use the foreskin from hits circumcision to replace his lids. It was a dangerous surgery but everything turned out ok.
He was just a little cock-eyed
My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."
I've always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda.
I guess it's always been my greatest Fanta Sea.
I had my transmission worked on the other day and they forgot to replace the fluid.
That really grinds my gears.
Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.
Not today, satin.
We all wonder what special knowledge you need to replace the great Dick Clark, but for now,
A couple decided to replace their countertops...
It was a counter-reformation.
My car got 4 flat tires and I had to replace them all. But after that, now it won't work at all!
I guess I shouldn't have retired it.
Recently had to replace my catalytic converter.
Replace numbers with roman numerals?
I think I need to replace my car's transmission.
It just can't get its shift together.
Wife and I went to replace some flowers on a relative's grave today.
She tried to mention buying our own grave plots as we were leaving.
I told her that "This was the last thing I needed!"
Weren't micro jet turbines were supposed to replace batteries?
I guess it never took off.
This actually came out of a conversation I had. Source: http://news.mit.edu/2006/microengines
They might need to replace that window soon...
...because it was kraken.
Was helping my dad replace some old outlets the other day when...
Me: How many times do you think electricians get electrocuted?
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
They should replace relay batons with clocks.
It would be a great way to pass the time.