What do you call a porcelain knee replacement?

Chi-knees

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📅︎ Dec 29 2018
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So today my dad says he needs a triple knee replacement...

“My left knee, my right knee, and my wee-nie”

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📅︎ Jan 24 2018
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My mother-in-law informs me she is waiting on a knee replacement

Me: Then you'll have a faux-knee (phony).

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📅︎ Nov 25 2015
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Dad joked during clinicals today

Patient: Why couldn't they play cards on the Ark?

Me: Why?

Patient: Because Noah was standing on the deck.

He chuckled so satisfyingly. 84-years-old, one day post-op from a total knee replacement, proof that nothing can stop the dad jokes.

👍︎ 694
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📅︎ May 30 2014
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[x-post /r/Jokes] [OC] An old blacksmith was working in his shop...

when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.

One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.

Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Aug 27 2016
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I work in an elective orthopaedic operating theatre

Mostly doing hip and knee replacements.

On a regular basis, someone will point to the X-ray screen and say: "will someone change the channel? I've seen this episode before"

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👤︎ u/machschau
📅︎ Jun 05 2015
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She should have gone to Africa

My half sisters were telling my dad about how his ex-wife just had surgery to replace both knees.

Dad: "She should have gone to Africa"

Sister: "Africa, why?"

Dad: "Because that's where the negro"

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👤︎ u/Odinking
📅︎ Aug 09 2013
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