I went for an interview. They said, βCan you perform under pressure?β
I said βIβm not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsodyβ
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I hate peer pressure
Unless my friends like it, then I guess it's cool
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︎ Dec 20 2020
It might crack under pressure.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?
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︎ Oct 23 2020
I tried to trademark an unit for pressure...
But the patent office wouldnβt have a bar of it
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︎ Aug 20 2020
My interviewer asked if I could preform under pressure.
I said no, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody
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︎ Jun 12 2019
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
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︎ May 18 2020
What do you call the pressure Microsoft is under to compete with iPad?
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
No, but I can give Bohemian Rhapsody a go.
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︎ Feb 03 2020
pier pressure [OC]
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Job Interview : "How do you perform under pressure"
I usually have my band with me
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︎ Feb 25 2020
I never wanted to go to the docks, but after my friends pestered me for an hour I finally gave into pier pressure
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︎ Aug 18 2019
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure
Me: I donβt know about that but I can take a stab at Bohemian Rhapsody
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Where should you go for a drink when you feel under pressure?
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︎ Feb 26 2020
Under pressure
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︎ Mar 27 2019
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center... The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure
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︎ Jul 13 2019
Pier pressure
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︎ Apr 22 2019
Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
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︎ May 14 2019
You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?
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︎ Apr 12 2019
When someone is depressed, apply pressure to some part of their body. They'll no longer be de-pressed.
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︎ Jan 27 2019
Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?
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︎ Dec 27 2015
My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure.
He prescribed two IKEA self assembly wardrobes.
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︎ Mar 10 2019
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︎ Mar 12 2019
Under pressure
At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said "I don't know that one but I can have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody."
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︎ Mar 14 2019
The Pressure of Hurricane Michael at its peak was 1004MB.
Why didn't we just zip it in a folder to make it smaller?
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︎ Jun 02 2019
I don't like to wear my seatbelt in the car but after a lot of pressure from my family...
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︎ Jul 16 2017
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
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︎ Jan 04 2019
My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure
Iβm just glad itβs not ugly
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︎ Oct 05 2018
Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said βlookinβ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekendβ, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
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︎ Oct 13 2018
I walked into my proctologist's office to find him holding a pressure washer.
I told him "today you've made a powerful enema."
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︎ Mar 26 2019
I've always been able to tell how much pressure is in a tire just by looking at it.
I guess that makes me psichic.
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︎ Aug 29 2017
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︎ Apr 01 2015
I'm under alot of pressure at work. Just trying to gauge water do next. Luckily there's plenty more jobs in the pipeline...
i.reddituploads.com/c9b53β¦
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︎ Feb 02 2017
I would tell a joke about barometric pressure
But I don't know weather or not that would be a good idea
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︎ Nov 05 2016
The wife said one of the tires on her car needed more pressure
so I told it if I don't seen any improvement in it's sales number this quarter, its fired.
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︎ Jan 25 2015
Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
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︎ Aug 02 2018
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody
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︎ Feb 15 2020
My doctor just diagnosed me with extremely low blood pressure.
His prescription for me is to assemble two IKEA wardrobes.
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︎ Apr 19 2019
I had a job interview recently and They asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said that I don't know that one, but I could take a shot at Bohemian Rhapsody.
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︎ May 28 2019
At a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said I could, but I'd be more comfortable playing Bohemian Rhapsody.
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︎ Mar 28 2019
I hate peer pressure
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︎ Jan 27 2018
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