I went for an interview. They said, β€œCan you perform under pressure?”

I said β€œI’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody”

πŸ‘︎ 729
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LIS1050010
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...

I felt your presents!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate peer pressure

Unless my friends like it, then I guess it's cool

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pray4judo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
It might crack under pressure.
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SorenRL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?

BARFITE

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to trademark an unit for pressure...

But the patent office wouldn’t have a bar of it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllDayRef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My interviewer asked if I could preform under pressure.

I said no, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.

I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the pressure Microsoft is under to compete with iPad?

Surface Tension

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisADHD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?

No, but I can give Bohemian Rhapsody a go.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_person
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
pier pressure [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slavicgarlic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Job Interview : "How do you perform under pressure"

I usually have my band with me

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I never wanted to go to the docks, but after my friends pestered me for an hour I finally gave into pier pressure
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bandit_TFR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure

Me: I don’t know about that but I can take a stab at Bohemian Rhapsody

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CashMoney6661
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Where should you go for a drink when you feel under pressure?

The isobar!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Under pressure
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mehaxe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center... The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Pier pressure
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MRR2012
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?

It sucks!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexemplu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When someone is depressed, apply pressure to some part of their body. They'll no longer be de-pressed.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuspiciousOmelet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
🚨︎ report
My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure.

He prescribed two IKEA self assembly wardrobes.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
"Pier Pressure” instagram.com/gonepatrol/…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellABunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Under pressure

At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said "I don't know that one but I can have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The Pressure of Hurricane Michael at its peak was 1004MB.

Why didn't we just zip it in a folder to make it smaller?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tm23246
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't like to wear my seatbelt in the car but after a lot of pressure from my family...

I buckled.

πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoatYouLove
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
🚨︎ report
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure

:)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirstycrow123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure

I’m just glad it’s not ugly

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_ina_fantasy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said β€œlookin’ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekend”, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheptown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I walked into my proctologist's office to find him holding a pressure washer.

I told him "today you've made a powerful enema."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I've always been able to tell how much pressure is in a tire just by looking at it.

I guess that makes me psichic.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolboonesfarm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I've been feeling a lot of pressure at work lately imgur.com/CQHCHfy
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/POSDSM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm under alot of pressure at work. Just trying to gauge water do next. Luckily there's plenty more jobs in the pipeline... i.reddituploads.com/c9b53…
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/codser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I would tell a joke about barometric pressure

But I don't know weather or not that would be a good idea

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
🚨︎ report
The wife said one of the tires on her car needed more pressure

so I told it if I don't seen any improvement in it's sales number this quarter, its fired.

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/upparoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iFunny_15_T0x1c
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor just diagnosed me with extremely low blood pressure.

His prescription for me is to assemble two IKEA wardrobes.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a job interview recently and They asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said that I don't know that one, but I could take a shot at Bohemian Rhapsody.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
At a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said I could, but I'd be more comfortable playing Bohemian Rhapsody.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwwazzu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate peer pressure

...and so should you!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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