Plane Puns
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︎ Nov 22 2017
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
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︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
After Orville and Wilburβs first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
βAre you all Wright?!β
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︎ Apr 15 2021
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I'm not sure when my plane will get here
It's pretty up in the air right now
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Shakes On a Plane.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Plane
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︎ Dec 30 2020
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
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︎ Feb 23 2021
My son asked me how often planes crash
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane
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︎ Feb 15 2021
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
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︎ Nov 26 2020
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Me and my plane had a fight
We now have thrust issues
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︎ Dec 26 2020
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
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︎ Aug 07 2020
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
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︎ Dec 20 2020
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
A Vulture is about to get on a plane.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Why didnβt the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and heβll fly for the rest of his life.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I want to learn more facts about planes
But they keep going over my head.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Why did the momma plane say the son plane couldn't fly?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What happened to a male plane when it saw a female plane?
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︎ Oct 20 2020
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
I donβt know what it is about planes but
They seem to have really taken off recently.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I have this disease where I canβt stop signaling to planes for help.
The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I Like My Eggs Plane!
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︎ Apr 21 2020
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I asked my wife if I could buy a plane
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︎ Oct 03 2020
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