Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
Guys, stop reposting other people's puns. Don't turn this sub into a post apocalyptic wasteland.
Sorry not sorry
A pun walked into a bar and killed 10 people. Pun in, 10 dead.
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?
He got caught picking his nose!
There's a term for people like Trump
If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 4....
Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t even well rounded.
I absolutely hate people who talk behind my back.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
Why don’t people use bulls to travel?
Because they go when the stop light is red!
(Sorry if this was bad)
Me when people tell me I make too many puns
People act like the North and South poles are exactly the same
...but really, there’s a whole world of differences between them.
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
Don’t know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didn’t get it(third line)
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
Everybody knows about Murphy’s Law, but far fewer people are aware of Cole’s Law
It’s finely shredded cabbage in mayonnaise.
You gotta hand it to short people.
Because they cant reach it.
I got into trouble at the park today - people told me to stop arranging the squirrels in order of height
I guess they were critter-sizing me
Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?
Because it's see-food!
my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.
edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.
thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day
The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
More and more people are taking up horse breading as a profession
Apparently it's a very stable career choice.
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism.
But those are their words, not mine.
I can’t believe people are still making “Friends” references 15 years after the show ended.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
My wife tried to get me interested in this documentary about Alaska and its people.
Some people have an addiction to alcohol, some to drugs.
Mine was to sandpaper. It was wearing me down.
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
A professor studies bisexual people
He is a professor of biology
362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...
What do you call a summer camp that helps people with ADHD?
A concentration camp.
I'll see myself out.
Times are hard for people on disability benefits....
I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.
But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.
Pun walks into a room and kills ten people. Pun in, 10 dead.
Pun enters room, kills 10 people. Pun in, ten dead. GET IT, PUN IN TEN DEAD
only good one I got.
Mr. Pun enters a room and kills 10 people.
Pun in, Ten dead.
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