A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish

Balsa McVinegar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/david622
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Irish people can’t count! They know 1, 2...

Then they jump straight to Tree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandra-Clapped
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Why are Irish people so rich ?

Because their capital is Dublin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vik-ram-8_4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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A lot of people don't know I work as a professional Irish singer impersonator, but sometimes I do it free for charity.

You could say I work Pro Bono.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShrimpHeavenNow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?

Paddy O’furniture

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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thought this belonged here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taurenscum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Irish dream come true
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excuseme_wtf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kachary
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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I'm half Irish and half Jewish, so...

I'm drinking if you're buying

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πŸ‘€︎ u/touchrubfeels
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth

Then it just becomes a soap opera

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrippinSky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Dadjokes while making pancakes

Was cooking pancakes for the whole family the day before Christmas, usually we have 4-5 people in the house when I make pancakes and I do a double recipe but this time there were 12, so I needed to make more. As I'm bringing them out, I say "Normally I'd make Irish pancakes, you know, while I'm making them I'm Dublin the recipe, but because there's so many of you I had to make Libyan pancakes, and every ingredient here is Tripoli multiplied."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vancar1000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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Why are Irish people so rich?

Because their capital is dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyesboyee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Why are Irish people so rich?

Because their capital is Dublin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XX2AJ3XX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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Why are Irish people so rich?

Because their capital is Dublin.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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Why are Irish people so wealthy?

Because their Capital is always Dublin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zijital
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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