23 Hilarious Out Of The Way Puns

What's the best way to climb out of ELO hell?

Pray to ELOhim.

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📅︎ Apr 17 2021

Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes

"I artichoke you for that"

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👤︎ u/BananasFosterGrants

📅︎ Mar 25 2021

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My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”

I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”

👍︎ 16k

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👤︎ u/Colbosky

📅︎ Jun 27 2020

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I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.

It was a near Mrs.

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👤︎ u/leif_hans

📅︎ Sep 30 2020

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How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?

Because, he had a hurry cane.

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👤︎ u/pewterpantheman

📅︎ Oct 10 2020

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How did the crazy people find their way out of the woods ?

They followed the psycho path

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Aug 12 2020

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My clippers ran out of juice half way through shaving so I started to beat the heck out of em...

...for extra battery

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👤︎ u/clouc1223

📅︎ Jul 04 2020

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I wanted to make a joke about potassium so, I was like oK what is the best way to make a pun out of this.

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👤︎ u/cigmond

📅︎ Jan 14 2020

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I was in an elevator with my wife when a couple entered with their kids. I went out of my way to ask what floor they were going up to so I could push the button for them.

I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Sep 30 2019

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When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.

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👤︎ u/TiredMemeReference

📅︎ Aug 30 2019

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My girlfriend and I were hiking yesterday, I was leading the way on the trail a bit ahead of her and she chimed out, "Is that a safe way?"

I said, "Honey, are you feeling okay? I don't think there are any grocery stores out here in the wilderness."

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👤︎ u/winkyfacealbert

📅︎ May 16 2018

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This bakery on the way out of Tamworth, Australia

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👤︎ u/Haydstradamus

📅︎ Aug 14 2018

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My pregnant wife and I were on our way out of the doctor's office

And the receptionist was trying to schedule our next appointment, which was a routine check up. "We'll get you in and out real quick," she said. I turned to her and said, "that's what got us into this mess in the first place."

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/dubious-distinction

📅︎ Feb 01 2015

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😔Mom: "I know your brother is overly anxious, but I think the best way out of this is to get busy... Where does he work again ?"

🤥Dad: "He's insecurity"

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👤︎ u/music_snobbbb

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

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For two days in a row, I slipped on the frozen newspaper in front of my doorstep on my way out to work.

I seem to have fallen on hard Times.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 18 2018

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A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.

It's just something they tend to get hung up on.

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👤︎ u/teuast

📅︎ Jul 14 2017

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How does a crazy person find their way out of the wilderness?

They just take the pyscho path

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👤︎ u/Iforgot2packshirts

📅︎ Jun 04 2019

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I love the way old and out-of-touch people try to sound cool when they use slang they don't understand.

I call it their "artifical hip".

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👤︎ u/SoftCriticTy

📅︎ Feb 17 2019

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My dad is the most dad jokingest person on earth. This morning he had a heart attack. He's stable and was making dad jokes all the way to the hospital. I need your best of the best jokes for me to tell him when he gets out of surgery.

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👤︎ u/cowboykillers

📅︎ Jul 13 2016

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The other day, I was really worn out from work, but I have my family very well-trained in the ways of the Dad Joke

So, I was pretty worn out the other day and was not even close to my A game in terms of coherent conversation, let alone my sense of humor.

At dinner, the kids wanted some yogurt so my wife got up to get it and asked me, "Do you want some yogurt, Baby?"

I paused for a moment to actually decide whether I wanted some and must have made some weird look, because she immediately followed up with, "I know, I know, 'What's a yogurt baby?'"

The Dad Joke is strong in my home even when I'm not there to do the work. That is good news.

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👤︎ u/chaosTechnician

📅︎ Oct 29 2015

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What did the the grain of sand say after it made it's way out of the oyster?

Whew! I'm nacred...

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👤︎ u/Orthoprosthetist

📅︎ May 26 2018

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My Dad went out of the way for this one

One of my favorite activities is hiking, and my Dad absolutely detests hiking, so I thought it was a little odd when he asked me if I wanted to go hiking. I said yes, and we did. Then a few days later he asked me to go hiking again. It took about six trips in total for me to answer with "Count me in!" Then, with the biggest smirk in the world plastered on his face he proudly said "One."

He went hiking with my six times in the hopes that eventually I would say count me in, and he could use that joke. Bravo, Dad. Bravo.

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👤︎ u/Nocchi575

📅︎ Nov 10 2013

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On the way out of the house, my daughter has to use the bathroom.

Getting into the car my daughter says that she has diarrhea and if she's late to school they will just have to understand

I say, "Well then I hope your day at school isn't too crappy."

Daughter responds, "Dad, you are not funny."

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👤︎ u/AzraelBaine

📅︎ May 11 2015

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