Improper Puns

(sorry bad English)

They docked his pay.

It has become very corrupt.

For dessert we'd made something called a queen of cakes which involves a custard and breadcrumb base and a meringue topping. The custard hadn't set properly and as eating I said, "This hasn't set properly, it's like curdled custard!" seconds later my dad replied with "Was that in the dining room with the candlestick?" I was the only one that got it, I must say I'm impressed, just finished a game of cluedo with the family.

Shifting them improperly.

I told her if I was lion, I'd have a mane.

He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.

Swedes have been identifying themselves improperly. Shouldn't they be Suedes because of IKEA, and why do they not chair-ish their furniture counterparts? It really boggles me.

What's a pirates favourite letter? R!!

What's a pirates second favourite letter?? C!!

What's a pirates least favourite letter??

Dear Mr Pirate, we regret to inform you that due to improper acquirement of docking paperwork your ship has been seized....