i just learn that sorry is improper grammar and that the correct way to say it is i'm sorry

(sorry bad English)

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📅︎ Jun 06 2020
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How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?

They docked his pay.

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📅︎ Nov 13 2019
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I overheard my USB drive plotting to do evil things to me ever since I unplugged it improperly from a computer.

It has become very corrupt.

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📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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So I was eating an improperly cooked pudding...

For dessert we'd made something called a queen of cakes which involves a custard and breadcrumb base and a meringue topping. The custard hadn't set properly and as eating I said, "This hasn't set properly, it's like curdled custard!" seconds later my dad replied with "Was that in the dining room with the candlestick?" I was the only one that got it, I must say I'm impressed, just finished a game of cluedo with the family.

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📅︎ Mar 02 2014
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You know what grinds my gears?

Shifting them improperly.

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📅︎ Dec 30 2019
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5/4 of people admit to being bad at fractions.
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📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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Coworker didn't believe me when I said four out of three Americans are bad with fractions

I told her if I was lion, I'd have a mane.

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👤︎ u/Bawub
📅︎ Mar 29 2018
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Dad was in the kitchen cooking when he dropped this one.

He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.

Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.

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📅︎ Apr 07 2014
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I find that Scandinavia is a bit weird.

Swedes have been identifying themselves improperly. Shouldn't they be Suedes because of IKEA, and why do they not chair-ish their furniture counterparts? It really boggles me.

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📅︎ Jul 05 2016
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Getting p(irate)

What's a pirates favourite letter? R!!

What's a pirates second favourite letter?? C!!

What's a pirates least favourite letter??

Dear Mr Pirate, we regret to inform you that due to improper acquirement of docking paperwork your ship has been seized....

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👤︎ u/optometris
📅︎ Jan 25 2017
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