8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"

Me, "I dunno, what?"

Her, "The fabric of space time!"

She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.

Police say he may be following a pattern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdarigan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrannyLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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What's a needle's favorite Hawaiian food?

Poke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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What does a blind woman say when she gets to the top of the Space Needle?

Nothing, cause she can't Seattle.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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There is no point in adding an extra 's' to the word needles.

It's needless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.

So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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There's a nutcase going around our town stabbing people with knitting needles.

Twelve individuals have been attacked in the last 48 hours.

The Police have announced that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Needles-s to say, a pun that's worth a shot

I hate to say it but I'm not a huge fan of donating blood. I guess its cuz needles really get under my skin. But at least its not all in vein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooliojulio7997
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My friend moved to the Himalayas so he could go around jabbing wild oxen with needles

He practices yakupuncture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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After debating with a needle

I saw his point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.

I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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I protested doctors sticking needles in my body

I’m pretty vein about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PawnToG4
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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I saw a communist who was up for his Hepatitis shot. He was telling stories to the doctor out of fear of needles.

The doctor said β€œQuit Stalin”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RTCOAT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Why did the balloon go near the needle?

He wanted to be a pop star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdPapaya69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Where do the needle and thread go on a hot summer's day?

The swimming sPOOL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I asked my anaesthetist whether I can administer the needle myself.

She said, β€œ Sure. Knock yourself out.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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I used to have a cripling fear of needles

Needles to say it was a tough time of my life

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madwaste
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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I don't know why I'm scared of needles.

It just gets under my skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arimeffie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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I was arguing with a deaf guy yesterday because he didn’t want to buy my sowing needles.

I thought I had some good points, but he wasn’t hearing it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
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My gran only talks when I buy her a needle and thread. I guess I'm her little helper...

Sew to speak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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It's the size of a needle, but it moves like a sewing machine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellABunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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Aztec space needle upheaval
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybthehuman
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2017
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I got a new job at the needle factory and I'm frequently late getting home

I get stuck at work a lot.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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Why did the man quit his job as a needle tester.

He just couldn’t see the point anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwicanary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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What's the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?

They seem pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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Dad joked my girlfriend today when she told me she purchased some needles

Girlfriend: I bought some new needles at target earlier. Me: That's cool baby. Are they good needles or are they just....sew sew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohlawdjeezeus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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Lovely needles. This packet of needles is lovely. As the saying goes: "You've got to be crewel to be kind." i.reddituploads.com/b8650…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realmofconfusion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2016
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What happens when you stick a needle to a unicorn balloon?

it becomes a Popcorn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowlbert
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Bear with the ins and outs of this needle and thread joke.

You'll sew be left in stitches.

Edit: phrasing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatjewed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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Dadjoked my wife when she purchased 2-packs of inflating needles so my son could pump up his soccer balls.

Wife: Last time I bought these, they were packaged 3 to a pack, but now they only come 2 per pack. Me: Sheesh....talk about inflation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EevelBob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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Needles to say nobody but him laughed

So my mom just told my dad easy on the wine.

His response was puring wine into the glass slower. Classic dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VIERMEX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Have you guys heard about the new see-through sewing needles?

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimaGabe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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I told my Uncle John that Isaac Newton once stuck a darning needle behind his eyeball to test a hypothesis about optics.

He won't stop referring to him as Eye-Stick Newton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/messenger_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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I hate needles. They always get under my skin.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domivic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Why did the balloon go near the needle?

He wanted to be a pop star.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RottenMind62
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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