Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told β€˜that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.

People say he’s in da Nile

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...

I'll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D3LTAK1L0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?

Toot-in-common!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the mummy get fined by the FCC?

Too much cursing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/therealdjbc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Son, What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Huh, they listen to Wrap music !

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they just diacovered an Egyptian mummy that was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts?

It's a pharaoh rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The true identity of the mummy was...

Under wraps

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the mummy writing a letter to the poltergeist?

Because it had received a ghost card

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the mummy have any hobbies?

He was too wrapped up in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a mummy's favourite genre of music?

Wrap music.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mummy say after his therapy session?

Thanks doc, it was so hard keeping all that under wraps

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalrusNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of investment security?

Cryptocurrency.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume?

Ryan Gauzeling

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are women attracted to mummies?

Pharaoh Moans.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaska_Engineer
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
This mummy is sore...

It needs a Cairo-practor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't people care about mummies anymore?

Cause they ancient

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two mummies who fart together?

They have toots'in'common

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ky_climber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to dinner with a cannibal family I know. The conversation was flowing. Their daughter suddenly piped up β€œMummy I don’t like Nanny”. The mother replied...

β€œWell leave her on the side and just eat your vegetables”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I want my mummy
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saifstfu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male Mummy with a cold?

I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shycancouple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are mummies so hard for archaeologists to find?

Because they’re all kept under wraps.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lauren_Crabtree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?

Because he was stuffed!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrakemanBob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do mummy's like?

Rap

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
After dad came back from his hunting trip we were eager to know what kind of meat was on our plates, so we asked him for a clue. Well, he said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes."

That's when my little sister screamed to me, "Don't eat it, it's an asshole."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t a mummy ever take a vacation?

He’s worried he will relax and unwind.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mummy with a sore throat?

I don’t know.

Sir Cough I guess.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baby corn say to mummy corn?

Where’s my pop corn ?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a mummy end a photoshoot?

He just says "That's a wrap!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Ancient Egyptian mummy they found buried with chocolate?

They identified him as Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanadriana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn?

Where’s pop corn?

Darkest Christmas cracker joke I’ve seen.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they found a mummy without bandages?

Archeologists think they started the mummification process, but didn't have time to wrap it up.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDiamondJester
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?

Rap.

Cheesy for sure but a random older gentleman told me this joke while I was walking around Seattle on a recent trip. Made the day pretty memorable!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CeruleanStarlite
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t you see any mummies on the street?

They’re trying to keep it under wraps!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trustworthy-lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?

Toot-in-common.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Christopher1295
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of music do mummy's like?

Wrap music.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SGTasseater69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A new mummy was found in Egypt. It was covered in chocolate and nuts.

The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do Mummies listen to?

Wrap.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCandle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.

πŸ‘︎ 303
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...

They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do mummies like the most?

Wrap music.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do mummies like to listen to?

Wrap

πŸ‘︎ 285
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reck15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
🚨︎ report

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