My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
My Wife got a thin crust pizza for dinner. It reminded me a lot of myself:
No dough and lots of cheese.
My wife said, "You've put on a lot of weight."
I said, " I know! I have had a lot on my plate lately."
My wife says I've been listening to a lot of 80s rock recently
My 3yo is in a phase where he makes up words a lot, and today I heard him singing "Crotch-ohs, crotch-ohs" over and over. I told my wife, "That sounds like the worst breakfast cereal ever..."
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.
I do hope she doesn’t make a habit of it
My wife changed a lot since becoming a vegan..
It's like I've never seen herbivore
My wife decided to put a bunch of leftover chicken bones in the crockpot so we can make a lot of soup at home as this thing drags on
When it was done she said "we're all stocked up!"
My wife asked me, “Did you experiment a lot in college?”, and I said, “Of course.”
My Latin wife dances a lot as she keeps the floors clean...
My wife is really pissed that I spent a lot of money to buy a make your own perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
I told my wife I had a lot of things I needed to get off my chest,
So I asked her for help clearing the junk
My wife just gave birth to our first born, and I noticed hospitals are a lot like hotels
The womb service is great
While pulling into a parking lot my wife noticed a car with a reverse light out.
Our friend in the back seat was a dad for a short while. All I heard her say was "I guess only half of the car is backing up."
I'm so proud of her.
I can tell a lot about my wife’s mood just by looking at her hands.
For example: If she is holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
My wife encourages me to have a lot of hammers...
We're in a poly-hammerous relationship
At a concert I didn’t want to go to, I turned to my wife and said, “I hope there is a lot of Ado.”
Her: Huh?
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....
Me: Shit.
My wife says I say ass a lot, butt I don’t.
We've been having a lot of flies in the house lately. I think my wife knows why now.
My wife said "For each one we kill, two emerge."
I said "Looks like we have a flydra problem on our hands."
She walked off.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Wife is frying a lot of mushrooms in a tiny pan.
Me: Doesn't look like you have mushroom left in there.
My wife said something that meant a lot to me...
She said "a distinct portion or section of land."
My marraige has had a lot of tension recently, because my wife loves to play tug-of war
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