If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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The Queen Mary & The Queen Elizabeth 2

Since you guys like one liners, I thought you’d live two liners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devoutsalsa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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If Queen Elizabeth was Hispanic

Her name would be " El Lizabeth "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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At an auction, I bought an old Nintendo game originally used by Queen Elizabeth.

Now I know how to properly use the royal wii.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,

"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What’s going to happen when Queen Elizabeth dies?

Charles becomes the King formerly known as Prince.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/throw63105
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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The only reason I am voting for Elizabeth Warren is that she will bring stability to the White House. She will never be impeached.

She comes with a warranty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Why didn’t Queen Elizabeth take a shower before attending Prince Harry’s wedding?

Because she was already queen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSocialGadfly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Queen Elizabeth only plays poker on the toilet.

That's because she's guaranteed a royal flush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Elizabeth Holmes…

…has already seen "Theranos, End Game"

(Less than a drop of blood was spilled)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lindleyw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Queen Elizabeth visited an Edinburgh hospital recently...

She enters a ward full of patients, and notices that they’re all dressed in street clothes and have no obvious sign of injury or illness. The Queen approaches a patient and greets him. The patient replies:

β€œMy heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here, My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer.”

The Queen is confused, but smiles and moves on to greet the next patient. The patient responds:

β€œSome hae meat an’ canna eat, And some wad eat tha’ want it, But we hae meat an’ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.”

Even more confused, and smiling even more broadly, the Queen moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant:

β€œMy love is like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June; My love is like the melody that’s sweetly played in tune.”

Now very confused, the Queen turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, β€œIs this a psychiatric ward?”

β€œNo, Your Majesty,” replies the doctor. β€œThis is the serious Burns unit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatboyfat1981
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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In 1948, Elizabeth (the future queen) became pregnant with her first child (now Prince Charles). How did her doctor tell her?

"There's something in the heir."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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Queen Elizabeth is celebrating 66 years on the throne.

I’m assuming it’s something she ate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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Every time we drive up the turnpike through Elizabeth...

We're from NJ (he's been here his entire life). That part of the turnpike is how we get our bad name (smells, industrial, crime).

Every single time we drive through Elizabeth he proclaims, WHO'S ELIZABETH AND WHY SHE SMELL SO BAD?! followed by many self induced chuckles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/citylikeAMradio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are expected to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Royal etiquette: If Queen Elizabeth accidentally burps during dinner, the other guests must pretend that nothing happened.

Because Noble Gases shouldn’t have any reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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