Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?
He has too many ho ho hos
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Looks like reindeer.
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I really like that actress in βHouse of Cards,β βManhattanβ and βThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.β
Iβm a Rachel Brosnafan.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.
If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Mr. Bean said it best
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︎ Dec 28 2020
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasnβt going to happen.
She said: βNot tonight. Period.β
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︎ Oct 16 2020
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Mr. Macaroni to his son:
Tell your sister it's pasta bed time.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood
I have been informed he was a-salted.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
There once was a family, the Biggerβs. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Mr. and Mrs. Melon told me the story of when they went to vegas to get married.
At the alter the priest said...
You cantaloupe.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm okay with it.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
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︎ Apr 19 2019
A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.
They have to fit the Bill.
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Have you met Mr. Mushroom?
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Pacman and Mrs. Pacman used to have a rap group.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Mr and Mrs Wong were expecting their first child.
When the baby was born. Mr Wong was shocked to see it was white and not a bit Chinese looking.
"No no no" he said "two wongs don't make a white"
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︎ Dec 23 2019
I met mr. T and I was very disappointed!
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Mr Yeast
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︎ Jul 11 2020
What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My Mrs asked me to wind the baby...
I thought that was a bit harsh so I only gave it a dead arm.
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title
'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Why did Mr Ohm propose to Mrs Ohm?
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︎ May 26 2019
Mr. Bigger held his newborn son.
Who was taller?
The baby was a little Bigger.
Mr. Bigger went to the hydroelectric plant.
Now he's Bigger by a dam site.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
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︎ Jan 24 2020
Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?
Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?
βLooks like rain dearβ
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
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︎ Apr 20 2020
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname βMr. Compromiseβ.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm ok with it.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.
It wasnβt my first choice, but Iβm okay with it.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
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︎ Dec 09 2019
Why doesn't Mrs Clause like to go outside in spring?
Because of all the rain, dear
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︎ Dec 05 2019
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