My friend Anne has the habit of hiring & firing people...

I hate to see someone Anne employed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
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Good morning Anne!
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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Anne had a problem. Anne found a solution. Anne had a will.

Anne Hathaway.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Anne has a problem
πŸ‘︎ 510
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πŸ‘€︎ u/journeyman369
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2015
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If Anne hath a will...
πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HansSven
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2013
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Anne has a problem.

Anne has a solution.

Anne has a will.

Anne Hathaway

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
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Henry the 8th liked his wives to be athletic, and that was her problem, she wouldn’t walk, she wouldn’t run

She would just Anne Boleyn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
I went into Ann Summers and asked the girl if the underwear was satin.

She said "no, they're new."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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The Beach Boys walk into a bar.

"Round?"

"Round".

"Get a round?"

"I'll get a round".

πŸ‘︎ 798
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Dr. Ann Kerr

Watching 'Operation Ouch' on Cbbc tonight with wife and kids. Someone called Dr. Ann Kerr appears on the show at some point. I couldn't help it, I said "I know her, she used to work in the Port of Dover". Kids didn't register. Murderous look from my wife. Have now put away all sharp objects just to be on the safe side.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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The Legend of Gnome Ann
πŸ‘︎ 432
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gargolito
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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I think I found out who invented condiments,

Her name is May Anne Hayes

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Michigander who loves trees?

Ann Arborist

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeJonJames31
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
To be frank, I’d have to change my name.
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcessiveGravitas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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My PS4 got stolen

Someone console me.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khayalipulao
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The person who proof-read Adolf Hitler’s speeches was a grammar nazi.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreddyRafn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Jew mad? It’ll holocaust you and arm and a leg
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManGood2002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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The Nazis raised a lot of red flags
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gekosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Hitler say when he lost the war?

I did Nazi that coming

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ronin_777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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What was Carl Sagan's favorite band?

Ann Druyan Druyan

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichardTHofmann
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is C afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all of the other letters are not-C’s!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winfinity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Well...
πŸ‘︎ 311
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XLeoInTheDarkX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
The world champion in hide n' seek's name is
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Useless_IT_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Hitler's favorite dish?

Beans Anne Franks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arcee_Jace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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The second wife of King Henry VIII would never arrive in a room quickly....

She would just Anne Boleyn.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/16fghji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joke at work. At my job I have to reduce the price of hot chickens..

My colleague asked me "will they be going cheap?", I said "no they'll be going bwaark!"

Still laughing at myself.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damnthewerehog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Who is the most devilish christian of all time?

St. Anne.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Care to create a pun for change?

I'm working on a silly project for my job, and I'm trying to come up with punny fake names for the name tags. I work at a community bank - anything finance and banking product or industry related is good, I am god awful at puns and so far I've only got these:

Ann U. Ities Dee Posit Owen A. Lott

Punmasters and fans, lend me your talents? :)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outfoxthefox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
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Proud of this
πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybthehuman
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Who do celebrities go to when they can't solve a problem?

Anne Hathaway

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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My crowning glory

Years ago, my Aunt Ann ate a couple of hot dogs at the county fair, and afterward experienced some... digestive difficulties. I declared it The Diarrhea of Ann's Franks.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/President_Calhoun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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I had this one teacher at school, who actually didn't like other people...

... her name was Miss Anne Thrope.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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A friend of mine is really good at using comparisons to explain things.

Her name is Ann Alogy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crunchybedsheets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œMr. Shakespeare, how doth thou manage to keep your married life interesting?”

Shakespeare: Anne hath a way.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you here about Bon Jovi’s sister?

Anne Jovi

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/99Pancakez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The wife's a redhead

Her friend asked her for some advise on a subject that could be very disastrous if not handled right.

She asked me what to do.

I responded with handle it like a redhead. Gingerly.

Even though we are several states away from each other, I heard her groan.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dokpsy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you catch the new video from JewTube?

Isreali funny.

Sorry, I'm out of Mein Kampfort zone, Anne Frankly I'd like to apologize.

Here, have some orange jews from concentrate, straight from the oven.

I really got to Gestapo before I go crazy so that I can SS how bad these puns are.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CBtheDB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2015
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I deleted all of the German contacts from my phone.

Now it's Hans free.

My dad told this one the other day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N6TJA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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I'm not perfect, but...

I can confidently say that Gnome Ann will never be as good a father as I am.

http://xkcd.com/1704/

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsCALamity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Seriously, guys...

People have got to stop making Nazi puns. They're offensive, Anne Frankly, in terms of humor, they're usually Hitler miss at best. I can just Nazi why you even make them. They'll Holocaust you a Jewish friend someday. We should all just do the Reich thing and stop it... Still... I guess I don't want to stop Jew while you're having so much fun... What the Heil, I'll just sit back in Mein Kampfy chair and watch.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedBlackDragon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2011
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My favorite beer growing up.

Anne, how's her bush. Tastes like piss tho.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan ... (xpost /r/vegetarian)

Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan:

Ron Acerous, Sal Amander, Herb Avore, Chic Adee, Al Bacore, Paul R Baer, Al Batros, Wally Bee, Lady Bugg, Jay Byrd, Ann Chovie, Anna Condra, Barry Cuda, Terry Dactyl, Ray N Deer, Flo N Der , Erma Dillo, Ann Enome, Terry Err, Liz Erd, Ann Fibian, Dale Finn, Redd Fox, Buddy Fly, Ken Garoo, Allie Gator, Billy Goat, Pan Guin, Ann Gus, Hal Ibut, Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Anne Kelosaurous, Don Key, Ann T. Lope, Moe Lusk, C. Lyon, Chip Monk, Flo Mingo, Sal Mon, Anna Mull, Barr Nicole, Kay Nine, Kyle Otee, Al Paca, Lia Pard, Millie Pede, Ellie Phant, Arthur Podd, Jack Rabbit, Gerry Raffe, Ty Ranaceourous, Mack Rell, Wally Rus, Jack Russel, Fez Sant, Dina Sauer, Drew Sophila, Chris Station, Hal Steen, Clyde Sudale, Ann Teeter, Pan Ther, Earl Thurfworm, Tara Ann Tula, Bea Tule, Ray Venn, Bea Ver, and Beau Vine.

I couldn't have done it without your support !!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStupidVegNoob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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Once the student now the teacher

Me: Hey pops I thought you were going to see your girlfriend Ann this weekend? Dad: No not anymore Me: So you're saying she cANNcled?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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I am my father's son.

I asked what my sister was listening to, she says "LeAnn Rimes" and I says "with what?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecudorian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Street names

I'll never forget when I was riding shotgun while my dad drove, and we were taking my friend Joe home. We had driven these streets hundreds of times, but at this moment, my dad released all these heretofore unheard-of puns.

We took a right on Cambridge Ave.

Dad looks over and stoically says in a gravelly voice with an -- American Indian?? -- accent, "First came iron horse… then came bridge."

Groans.

As we approach Minot Ln., he asks "do I turn here?" and Joe says "yes," to which dad replies "I don't know, Joe, I might, but I minot!"

Groans.

Finally, we make our last turn onto Cheyenne. Dad says with a deliberate, measured cadence, "You know, growing up, all the girls I met were so forward. It was weird. But then I met Shy Anne."

He finished his sentence right as we pulled into Joe's driveway. He put his right hand on the back of my headrest and turned to face us with a wide smile and the glittering, eyes of a puppy that just fetched on command.

Joe said "Thanks, Mr. Sm

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doc_ids
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
🚨︎ report
We were watching Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

My boyfriend: "I mean, Marion got captured because she did NAZI them coming. You get it? She did NAZI them coming. HA. Anne Frankly, I didn't see how you didn't get it. If I keep going this is gonna be holocaustly."

We don't even have kids yet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/souwant2bcliche
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad out for sushi

Sister asks if anyone wants her ginger. I ask why, not a fan of ginger? Dad cuts in, "I think your sister prefers Mary-Anne.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iancameron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
My Grandfather is a witty one

At the dinner table and my mother asks:

"What is the difference between Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor loft?"

Grandfather: "One is higher than the other"

We had a good laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThirdCocacola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Waitress:

Waitress: "My name's Blue Ann if you need anything."

Brother: "What's your name if we don't need anything?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arqideus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
🚨︎ report
To be frank

I’d have to change my name.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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