Yes Helen, yes we did.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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Mount St. Helens is a great mountain.

But it was at its peak in the 80s.

Stolen and butchered from https://xkcd.com/2308: Title text was β€œIt's a good mountain but it really peaked in the 80s.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StochasticTinkr
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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Have you ever seen Helen Keller’s book?

She hasn’t

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_rant_time
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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How did Helen Keller know an angel was always watching over her?

It was Heaven-scent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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A "helen" could be used as a measurement of beauty, defined as a face that could launch a thousand ships. However, one should not use a "millihelen" to mean that a face could only launch one ship...

...because you shouldn't put metric prefixes on Troy units.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Helen Keller walks into a bar...

then a table, then a chair

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t00punkt0fuck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard?

...neither did she

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Helen Keller had a side job as a fortune-teller.

She was really good at palm reading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...

If you want credit go to Helen Waite

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Helen Keller’s dog ran away

I mean I would too if my name was β€œhnuuugh”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent-Bmo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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The WNBA refused to recruit Helen Keller

When they handed her a basketball, she kept trying to read it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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If Helen Keller was psychic

Would we say she had a fourth sense about things?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car

Cause she’s dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmapilgrim0720
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive a car?

She was never Permitted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller?

Neither did she.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/landracer2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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How did Helen kellers parents punish her

They put a plunger in the toilet.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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What is Helen Keller called when she goes to the shooting range?

Helen Killer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowjedi6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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How did helen keller lose her arm?

She was trying to read the Braille on the speed limit sign

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rekoteth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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What did Helen Keller say to her friends?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neudeu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Did you know Helen Keller had dollhouse

Neither did she

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πŸ‘€︎ u/microwave-cancer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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I'm Deaf, I teach sign language, and I hadn't heard this Helen Keller joke before.

(Technically I haven't heard any joke before, but...)

I was telling my dad about tactile sign, which is what deafblind people use to communicate. It is like signing condensed ASL with someone's hands on yours, and it is what I plan on specializing in when I am a Certified Deaf Interpreter. He brought up Helen Keller and the conversation went as follows.

Dad: "But how many people can really do that? How many people could really communicate with Helen Keller?"

Me: "Well-"

Dad: "PROBABLY JUST A HANDFUL!"

I'm borderline convinced he deafened me as an infant in hopes that someday the set up for this joke would present itself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haydenkristal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
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Helen Keller Institute

Coworker A: β€œ... then I was at the Helen Keller Institute.” Me: β€œThe Helen Keller Institute? I’ve never seen or heard of it.” Coworker B: β€œThat was horrible.” Me: β€œbut necessary”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paladdin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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What did Helen Keller say when she fell in the well...

... (flail hands and fingers wildly).

How come nobody heard her... ... she was wearing mittens!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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E-mail I just received from my dad: Rare photo of Helen Keller and her beloved cat, Mittens.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2013
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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? No?

Neither did she.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suddu0597
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Why can’t Helen Keller drive?

Because she’s dead

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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