I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Joan of Arc walks up to a blackjack table.

The casino employee starts handing her cards and says β€œWell, I guess I’m a heroine dealer now...”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaskan_Viking
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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My friend is really into Joan of Arc memorabilia.

I’m beginning to worry he might be a heroine addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Just saw that Walmart commercial with Anthony Anderson and Melissa Joan Hart and wondered how many dads will wrap up frozen peas the Christmas.

"You said you wanted "Frozen" stuff!"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Dad asked me if I knew who Joan of Arc was this morning.

What's the difference between Joan of Arc and Noah's Ark?

Ones made of wood, ones Maid of Orleans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarkule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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Help with puns on biblical figures

I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tesla_pasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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French National Hero imgur.com/644u5u8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roflkopt3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
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My wife is not exactly religious…

She thinks Noah was married to Joan of Ark…

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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Colonoscopies are just as painful as a dad joke punch line

My parents and I were eating dinner and talking about how Joan Rivers died after being put under anesthesia for a procedure that could have been forgone. My mom, a doctor, compared it to a colonoscopy in the sense that it is a routine procedure you get put under anesthesia for but you don't expect to die from.

Dad: Can't they perform colonoscopies now by having the patient swallow a pill with a camera?

Mom/Dr: They can but they won't be able to see the whole colon.

Dad: So, semicolon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FollowillFan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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