Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?

He has too many ho ho hos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewc249
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Mr. Bean said it best

when he said...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"

The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasn’t going to happen.

She said: β€œNot tonight. Period.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brian_Cirgury
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood

I have been informed he was a-salted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubsAli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There once was a family, the Bigger’s. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?

The son, because he was a little Bigger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HurinofLammoth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Mr. and Mrs. Melon told me the story of when they went to vegas to get married.

At the alter the priest said... You cantaloupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColeMotto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?

He’s an imi-tater...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chalwar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?

Mississippi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.

They have to fit the Bill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you met Mr. Mushroom?

He’s a real fungi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aguywithadream56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...

"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Pacman and Mrs. Pacman used to have a rap group.

They were called 2Pac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mr and Mrs Wong were expecting their first child.

When the baby was born. Mr Wong was shocked to see it was white and not a bit Chinese looking. "No no no" he said "two wongs don't make a white"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I met mr. T and I was very disappointed!

He offered me coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyNetF1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Mr Yeast
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πŸ‘€︎ u/79to55
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?

Crabby panties

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farquaadschin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My Mrs asked me to wind the baby...

I thought that was a bit harsh so I only gave it a dead arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastHeroHere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?

Herb T.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?

Hexcellent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyljim
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Mr. Bigger held his newborn son.

Who was taller?

The baby was a little Bigger.

Mr. Bigger went to the hydroelectric plant.

Now he's Bigger by a dam site.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title

'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?

Carolime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc_the_shell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Mr Ohm propose to Mrs Ohm?

He couldn’t resistor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnurZ115
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?

She caught him watching the salad dressing again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?

Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myhomebasenl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?

β€œLooks like rain dear”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise”.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘︎ 511
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Mrs Clause like to go outside in spring?

Because of all the rain, dear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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