Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?

He has too many ho ho hos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewc249
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus

"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."

Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"

"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"

"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."

"Well?" Santa says expectantly.

"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djott3r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?

A ho ho ho

On a serious note Merry Christmas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H3nTy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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What does Mrs. Claus do while Santa is delivering presents?

She misses Claus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offsky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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Why did Mrs. Claus leave Santa?

Because he only came once a year and then it was down a chimney.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lotusblossom60
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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What did Mrs. Clause say to Santa Clause on Christmas Eve?

β€œWatch our for the rain, dear.”

-a tour guide earlier today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonymousCat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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What's Mrs. Clause's favorite type of weather?

It's rain dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamSusich2015
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Santa forgot to check the weather

Its Christmas eve and santa claus has forgotten to check the weather before his Christmas run . Just before leaving he asks Mrs claus "what's the weather like for tonight?" "Rain dear" she replies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/generic_what
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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On a cloudy night on Christmas Eve

Santa asked Rudolph to let him know if it was going to rain. Rudolph sniffed the air and affirmed that it was going to rain. Surprised, Mrs. Claus asked Santa β€œHow did Rudolph know it is going to rain?” β€œBecause” replied Santa β€œRudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmarkcha117
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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My brother was destined to be dad from age four

When my brother was four years old, my dad told him to go sit on Santa Claus' lap at the church. Santa Claus was actually being played by my second uncle, Mr. Herman. My brother had already heard rumors of this, so when he went to sit on Santa Claus' lap he asked: "Are you Mr. Herman?" Mr. Herman replied: "Baloney!"

My brother went back to my dad and said: "His name is Baloney!"

(My brother is now 39 years old and the proud father of a 19-month-old son)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nubboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
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goddamit dad, it's march

Mr and Mrs Claus are sitting together in their living room. A loud noise comes from the roof. Mrs Claus turns to Mr Claus and asks, "Is that the reindeer?" Mr Claus responds, "No love, I think it's snow"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stabbity_ZAR
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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Dad joked my class.

We were going over review. The teacher asked what two clauses there are.

"Santa and Mrs clause?" I said

I was the only one who laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatGecko5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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Why did Santa and his wife split up?

He found a comma in bed with Mrs. Clause.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
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Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?

Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myhomebasenl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What did Santa Claus say when he caught Mrs. Claus cheating?

Hoe-hoe-hoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out of the window?

It looks like rain, dear.

(From r/funny)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameMyLife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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What did Mrs. Claus say to her husband when she looked to the sky? Looks like rain, dear.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?

β€œLooks like rain dear”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Why doesn't Mrs Clause like to go outside in spring?

Because of all the rain, dear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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