What car do missionaries drive ?

Convertibles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Missionary work is so rewarding
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatincomingvirus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.

They blessed the brains down in Africa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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3 Cannibals were arguing over how to eat a missionary they captured.

Cannibal 1: We should boil him!

Cannibal 2: We should roast him on a spit!

Cannibal 3: No! Can’t you see he’s a Friar?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What do successful missionaries drive?

Conversion vans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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A herd of wildebeests was ranging across Africa, destroying huts and missionaries...

When they were all killed, the newspaper headline read, "No gnus is good news!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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The Missionary Joke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LEOUsername
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Augustus Caesar tells Attila that the latter can't send missionaries unless they also come with fresh bread.

We don't want nuns unless you've got buns, Hun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car? - A convertible.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
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I heard being a missionary is expensive

but does it make a prophet?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superomegla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2013
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Two Mormon missionaries knock on our door

My dad answers the door and one of the missionaries says, "Good afternoon sir. I am Elder Mike and this is Elder James and we were wondering if you had a few moments to talk about the good news of Jesus Christ." My dad replies, "Wow! I had no idea Elder was such a common name!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elkarcher87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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I named our dog " Doggy"

But my wife won't let me name our Cat "Style" We are both missionaries and i just wanted to spice things up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Two cannibals are chatting

and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Cannibal son, during dinner: Mom, I have to tell you something. I don’t like grandpa.

Cannibal mom: Then try the potatoes instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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My grandpa sent me this email. King of dad jokes.
  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

  6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

  14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

  15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

  16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

  17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

  19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  21. A backward poet writes inverse.

  22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

  23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattybreit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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My dad just dropped this gem

My mom was talking about an article she read about elephants in Burma. She said, "There were missionaries and hookers at Burma at the time." My dad replied with, "Ah, but you see, missionaries are positions that hookers will understand!"

My mom groaned. I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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