What looks like red paint and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Dont hate me its cakeday
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again
Earth just told Mars to "get a life"
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
I once finished runner-up in a Fidel Castro look-a-like contest.
Looks like the Democrats are going for a fruit-based strategy
They're going with either impeachment or impairment.
Fred: “Someone said that you look like an owl?” Meg: “Who?”
Fred: “You sound like one, too.”
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her I’ve been trying to find them for three days, she said “please I need to see”
I said yeah me too that’s why I’m looking for my glasses
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...
Looks like the Democrats are now the party of “A. Blinken.”
Wife holding up "Prickly Pear Margarita": looks like I'm not driving...
Me: Why?
Wife: I don't want to drive im-pear-ed!
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
What do you call a father or a mother who's kid looks a lot like them ?
Remember boys, if your girl looks like this, she's a kiefer.
Jeff it looks like you’re in a ruff situation..
My dad came home with a new haircut and I said he didn't look like himself...
He responded: "Why are you telling me?"
Nothing says "oH lOoK aT mE" like someone playing a tuba.
I put on a blindfold to see what I would look like in the mirror.
To be honest, I just don't see myself wearing it.
What does that cloud look like to you, son?
It looks like rain to me.
Just looks like they’re hounding the bitch to me 😂
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
Just got my new keyboard. Looks like the keys are taking things quite literally.
Yeah, it does look like you see the dent-ist.
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
Do you know why a hot dog bun looks a but like male genitalia and a hamburger bun looks like female genitalia?
It's titled "Cheetah After Lunch", but it looks like a flamin' hot cheetah to me
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
Looks like she knew it already
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
I look just like my dad, but I’m really embarrassed by how he acts.
He’s my apparent aberrant parent
When I came home from my first day at my new job my wife asked me what my new schedule was like. I said it looks like Rihanna...
...because all I can see is work, work, work, work, work...
You look like a rusty nail, are you hammered?
You might not like it, but this is what beak performance looks like...
Saw this on a tiktok about a lesbian couple that look like sisters - Dopplebangers
What looks like half an Apple?
Looks like someone's working his ass off
My wife keeps telling me I look like Rick Astley. I think this vid of me says otherwise...
https://youtu.be/fC7oUOUEEi4
A guy just told me that my wife and my daughter look like sisters.
I told him, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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