I heard /r/dadjokes really liked puns, so I posted 10 thinking at least one would make the front page.
Did you hear about the mermaid who liked math?
I asked my kids if they liked my grandmother
They said, “She’s a great grandmother.”
The queen liked my girlfriend so much, she immediately made her an honorary member of the royal family...
She was really empressed!
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
I once new a hooker. I asked her how she liked her job.
She said m eh. There’s a lot of coming and going.
It’s an an in and out type of job.
Edit; knew* thank you.
The dictator liked the drink...
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
You hear about the dog who liked to chase cars?
My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"
So she decided to steel it
I never liked art teachers...
They were always a bit sketchy.
I never really liked DC films...
But how did I miss 1983 wonderwoman movies?
People just liked it better that way
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)
Told my wife I really liked her new pineapple scented candle
https://imgur.com/tlHbF9O
A bunch of people said they liked my shirt
Do you know why Bruce Lee never liked vegetables
He was always bullied by his cousin broccolee
I liked this a little too much, had to steel it.
When I was little my parents always have me alphabet soup claiming that I liked it but they were just...
...putting words in my mouth
I have never liked beards…
Then they started to grow on me.
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
The other day somebody asked me if I liked the office
I told them It depends on how much work I have pending
How can you tell that Saturn is the most liked planet in our galaxy?
If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.
My parents would always feed me alphabet soup when I was younger and they’d insist that I liked it
But I didn’t! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
I have always liked to browse the internet
I wasn't sure if I liked this one, but then it clicked!
At the store, my daughter found a shirt she liked on clearance. My wife asked her how much it cost.
I said "well, she just dropped it, so I'm gonna guess it's floor dollars."
My daughter actually gave me a fist bump for that one, which she now denies doing.
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied
I asked a wind turbine whether it liked "Blowin' in the Wind"
"Of course," it said, "I'm a big fan!"
I always liked those spice girls back in the 90s. What were their names again?
I wasn’t sure if I liked leeches at first.
I once knew a guy that liked to bask in the sun. He touched my circle of friends but did not enter it...
My son asked why so many people liked black olives...
I replied, “you should ask olive them.”
I saw my son reading Fahrenheit 451, and I asked him whether he liked it.
He said, “Its pretty lit.”
I have always liked whiskey, but ever since my kids were born,
I have learned to love it.
Henry the 8th liked his wives to be athletic, and that was her problem, she wouldn’t walk, she wouldn’t run
She would just Anne Boleyn.
I've heard the german army only liked one type of pastry.
Did you hear about the gorilla patriarch that liked classical music?
My friend liked to linger in the bathtub and drink wine...
Did you hear about the obese man who liked to make fun of animals’ weights?
I heard r/dadjokes really liked puns, so I posted 10 thinking at least one would make the front page
When I was little, my parents always fed me alphabet soup, claiming that I liked it, but they were just...
...putting words in my mouth.
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