With cutting hedge technology!!
Are they the same thing as my landscaping budget?
It was amazing.
But now I just can’t cut it
A man like him is hard to find.
You must take it sheariously.
But I don't know enough about their cutting hedge technology.
Because it was bushed.
I don't think he made the cut...
This morning my father was trimming the hedge in the front yard as I mowed the lawns. He called me over, it sounded important.
Dad: "If I were to pay someone to practice hegemony* on this hedge, because I don't want to do it myself, where would they put the funds?" Me: "Hedge fund. Good one."
I guess I have to keep holding it.
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
"It’s cutting hedge technology!"
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
Certainly a cutting hedge technology.
It really takes the hedge off!
Solar powered clippers attached to a drone that I can program to do most of my landscaping.
It’s real Cutting Hedge Technology.
They're teaching cutting hedge technology over there
Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor... keep reading on reddit ➡
It’s my hedge fund.
It's cutting hedge technology...
Mother superior confronts her and says "what on earth happened to you? You look like you've gone through a hedge backwards"
The Nunn responds "I know I've got a bad habit"
I call it my hedge fund
This Briggs Stratton personality thing says I’m a hedge trimmer.
It was cutting-hedge technology.
It's cutting hedge technology!
"This is cutting hedge technology".
But I don't like to hedge my bets.
Why can't they just share the hedges?
What do you call a savings account for obtaining more bushes?
A Hedge Fund!
So we payed him in hedge funds
But no one complains about the hedgehogs? Share the hedge, jerks!
Why can't they just share the hedge?
A hedge fund.
It's cutting hedge technology...