All this drama with hedge funds has me wondering?
Are they the same thing as my landscaping budget?
I’ve been setting aside money to buy some boxwood shrubs.
It’s my hedge fund.
I'm raising money for a new row of shrubs by selling stock...
Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?
I created a bank account dedicated entirely to buying and maintaining bushes
I call it my hedge fund
We couldn't find our checkbook to pay the gardener
So we payed him in hedge funds
What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?
A hedge fund.
What do you call someone who invests in marijuana stocks?
A HEDGE FUND MANAGER
The stock trader was able to afford his new landscaping...
...after making so much money in his hedge fund.
If you chuck money into a bush...
...it's called a hedge fund.
Hedge Trimming
This morning my father was trimming the hedge in the front yard as I mowed the lawns. He called me over, it sounded important.
Dad: "If I were to pay someone to practice hegemony* on this hedge, because I don't want to do it myself, where would they put the funds?" Me: "Hedge fund. Good one."
- I don't think he actually knows what that word means.
Shrubs
What do you call a savings account for obtaining more bushes?
A Hedge Fund!
I'm saving money for new shrubs out front
I call it my hedge fund
