Personally, I think it’s nuts.
Those damn mooselimbs.
He said, “Like everyone else, I’m working from home.”
Right off the bat
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"...why?"
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
I let him do as he soffit
Ra ra rass, kick em in the....other knee.
When he is standing next to your wife or girlfriend saying her hair smells great
Kid groaned, wife groaned, but I got a chuckle from the clerk.
Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college. Kevin Bompensiero: No, business. Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
He now knows the taste of defeet
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
They said no Minor allowed here . ..
First.... You dig a big pit.
Like, a tiger pit, but big enough for an elephant.
Then, you fill it with leaves and debris and whatever...
Light the leaves on fire and let it burn all the way down to ash.
Next, open a can of peas (or fresh peas if you have them)...
Place the peas all along the outside of the pit, creating a ring around the whole thing...
That way, when the elephant goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.
Too many Loggins attempts.
He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
He said, "Working from home"
A length of freeway walked into a bar, and yelled out "I'm the meanest bit of road west of the Pesos, nobody wanna mess with me!"
Then some duplicated overpass walked into the bar. "Anybody think they're tough enough to take on this piece of transit infrastructure? Well, are ya?"
Finally a stretch of dual carriageway walked into the bar. "This bad boy is badder than all you weaklings, whaddya gonna do about it!"
As they were all glaring at each other in a Mexican standoff, some bicycle laneway walked into the bar, threw a chair out of the way and kicked over a table. "I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, baddest piece of asphalt there is! You're all soft snowflakes! Ain't anyone who has the guts to take me on!"
The first three roadways all immediately turned to the bar and started meekly sipping their drinks, trying to look inconspicuous. The bartender asked them "What's the matter, are you going to let him get away with that? Why don't you stand up to him?"
"We aren't going to mess with him", they replied, "He's a real cycle path".
Cut a hole in the ice, then line the hole with peas. When the polar bear goes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
“Son”... “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
A mega sore ass.
I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.
All I'm saying is...a year or two after being kicked in the nads, I've never heard a guy say, "you know what! I think I'd like to be kicked in the nads again."
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
I guess I won’t be going undercover again.
His condition is pretty stable.
Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.
Menards
It can kick people in the groan
the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, “ Hey...aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, “ No, I’m a frayed knot”.
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
It's Saturday, and it's a turd, eh...
Me: "What are you doing?"
Burglar: "Working from home."
Personally, I think it’s nuts
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.
Dig a big hole, Fill it with ashes, Sprinkle peas on top, When the elephant goes to take a pea, Kick it in the ash hole.
Too many Loggins attempts I guess.
You cut a hole in the ice Line the hole with peas When the polar bear bends over to take a pea, Ya kick it in the icehole!
